I worked a little bit on my self portrait drawing, “Pain” 9 x 12 graphite on Strathmore 300 Bristol Smooth paper. As I continue to work on this, the demons from my past continue to haunt me. The voices in my head trying to convince me how much of a failure I am. I am fighting the urge to tear this up as I wonder if I’m good enough. As I try to find out who I am. Every mark I make is a stepping stone along my journey. As hard as this portrait is for me, I feel compelled to finish it. I am not a man of many words, I try to let my pencil be my voice. This drawing deserves to be finished, the man in this drawing deserves to heal. As I slowly make progress, I feel it is helping to do just that…heal. I started on my middle finger by starting to lay down a layer of graphite using a 6H @prismacolor turquoise graphite pencil, then 4H, and 2H as I began to build up the contrast a bit by making tiny overlapping circular motions with my pencil. I’m hoping to get my middle finger finished tomorrow. More to come soon!
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