Today is Monday, so it has officially been one week without a cigarette. "I would walk a mile for a Camel"! Oh yeah, at least that! People keep telling me that it will come in waves, but right now this desire to smoke is a tsunami, mostly a constant pressure for the week. Makes no difference, I am still not going to smoke! Not much to report on the chemo treatment. I still have most of my hair and all of my mustache. The headaches and total fatigue I blame on not smoking. I'll keep you posted!
Well, I did have the Chemo on Tuesday and now it is Thursday and I am really fine from all that. Zero pain, a little reading, joking with the nurses, and some boredom. Hodgkin's Desease is a cancer of the lymph system and they don't really know what causes it. The "cure" however is my excuse to stop smoking and so far this is a lot harder than the chemo treatments. The chemo process kills all fast growing cells in my body, the bad cancer cells and the good cells that line my mouth, throat and more. For over 40 years I have been lucky that these fast cells always came back true to form despite my smoking. Now they will be growing slower and without the aid of my immune system and smoking will be really, really bad! Not like it wasn't before, but much worse if I continue. So, last Tuesday was also my last cigarette! and now I am climbing the walls! This is probably the worst of all addictions, but I will win this battle too. Quitting is easy I've done it dozens of times! This time, "cold turkey" I am just going to suffer it out. It's all relative, chemo is pretty simple!
It is Sunday evening and I feel really good! If I didn't have the bandages on I wouldn't even know I had cancer. It is pretty easy to dwell in this desease but really, I have a few cancer cells surrounded by thousands of good and healthy cells. My first four hour chemo is to be this Tuesday and actually I look forward to begin this battle. Friends have sent me lots of cards and you guys (and gals) are my biggest support group! I have lots of books piled up and ready to read and tapioca pudding in the fridge! I am ready!
Reprieve! My chemo for today has been cancelled! This is great in that I get a long weekend and don't have to think about it, but bad in the sence that I still have the cancer and it must still be growing. The chemo doctors want the exact recipe and they discovered my cancer is not exactly what they thought it was. They are growing me, or the cancer part of me in a petrie dish and want a few more cells to produce before they create a chemical plan of attack! That is actually good news, the art to all this is in an acurate diagnostic of what I have been given. There are 44 different kinds of lymph cancer and and the chemical cure needs to know exactly which I have. So, maybe Monday? I was so mentally ready to begin today.
Well, today, about 4 hours ago I had my very first surgery! Probably considered prety minor at that: a couple lympgh nodes from my neck revoves and a "groshong", an implanted plastic tube, inserted into my chest that will remain there for 4 months. This is the portal with which they will give me the chemo, every two weeks for four months. I am in my shop and helping an apprentice work on his project and writing this blog, so it is all good! The worst part, so far, is I was not allowed my morning coffee! That was worse the the surgery!
I am thinking I should "blog" about MY Cancer! I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and so far it is only in my neck, has not spread and hasn't morphed into other cancers. 12-15 lymph nodes are effected but the "cure" will kill all of them. Thousands of them. and all my hair cells, the lining of my mouth, throat, esophgus, and stomach and probably more then have failed to mention. These chemo-cocktails are very poisonous and kill every fast growing cell in my body! You might know I am very much in favor of national health insurance. How can other countries afford this and we can't? The doctors would fix this anyway, but would take your house and the gold from your teeth afterwards! Well, I am in favor of national health, but I do not need it. I have excellent health insurance, the so-called Cadillac plan! and this bill I will receive, well over $100,000 will be paid in full by my insurance company! lucky me! Well, you know it is not luck at all. It is by design and I pay for it. So, I am being tested to boredom! I have seen more doctors in the last two weeks than I have seen in my life! and they all send to elsewhere, where they have huhe, expensive machines to practice their arts on me. It is all coming to a close now, Tuesday I get to have the lumps cut out! and on Friday, February 5th I get the famous chemo-cocktails! I'll keep you up to date as I am able.
and there was so little curiosityI find the REALLY interesting so I will share it with you! Today I couldn't paint because I have a metal commission thingy to do, so I posted a yellow dahlia from my garden, and, to let you know why I did not post a painting, I posted a photo of my welding table with a piece to be welded. For the past month I have been painting, a new experience for me, and I do this on the welding table which is now colorful with paint as I am having problems painting within the lines! I know the photo of the welding table wasn't "art", but to be fair, neither was the photo of the dahlia. I have about a million of them and I just went out there and snapped the photo and posted it. However, if all this is supposed to be a window to my soul, no one noticed! The yellow dahlia got a lot of attention and me, my welding table, and the reason I am not painting, well, that got almost no hits. The power of a yellow flower is amazing, you have seen a million of 'em, yet you keep clicking to see more! and I bet you have never seen a welding table as an easel and there was so very little curiosity. Interesting.
left out a "w"
http://www.PictureTrail.com/slate
Thanks for looking! and here is another painting!
August 16th and Autumn is in the air, the leaves are falling here and there and my beautiful garden is in the throws of old age!!! Difficult to get that "perfect flower" pic now. I am still having fun with painting! Maybe I'll do it a bit more now that the garden is slowing down. I have discovered texture! And things other than a paint brush for embellishment and movement. I am a welder, remember and have no experience in this at all. I am only using the primary colors and what you can get by mixing them. Every time is different and I look for the parts I like and always wonder, "now, how did I do that"? and, sometimes I think that I'd better stick to welding! I am mostly retired now but do "moonlight" occasionally, so check out my metal website for what I really do: http://ww.picturetrail.com/slate
Wow, I can paint! Well, a little and I am learning. This site can be inspiratioinal! I begin my day looking at art, and talking to a few fellow artist-types, and I look, really look, sometimes, stroke by stroke at what they do. At first I had a million questions and then I got some ideas, and then I started dreaming, and that was it. I don't know anything about painting or paints or what you put them on, so this being a welding shop I found a piece os stainless steel, and then some copper. I am sure this is different from art paper of some sort or canvas. There is no absorption of the painton steel, so what you put down stays there. I do have a sense of balance and debth, and focus. but I had never held a paint brush. I don't know how long I will continue this but it is a lot of fun so I may continue for awhile! Certainly it is less expencive than the steel I am used to working. $4dollars worth of paint will make a lot of paintings! Hope you like them!
