And he went upstairs, and I waited on a bench. I sat down, and I...I just waited...ZZZZZZZZZZZ.
And you know, there are a lot of things going on in this town of ours that none of us has really gotten out of our car to really see.
You can drive North and South in any direction in just a short time to see more wonderful and truly real things that are happening when you drive by.
And that's because of the wonderful automobile that you have the pleasure to buy to get there in the first place. Safe and first and unconscious of the economy. It's so quiet.
We're all, just like this little robot here I"m thinking, a lot shorter than we used to be. And this little guy here we're talking about can have just as many wonderful needs at home as anybody else. And to get him home, to get all of us watching home, he has to be taken out to run over the streets. And the kids, and what about the cats and the dogs?
Pick 'em up, and put 'em in the robot and bring 'em down to Dukes of Madness Motors, and we'll fit 'em each out with a robot of their own, so they can get around and see it too.
Keep watching, and you'll see we're always welcoming meeting strangers, and wives, and discounting everything that happens here at Duke of Madness Mufflers, every day it reamains from noon to noon.
Thank you.
A special kinda gal.
A gal whose got a house,
and a butler and a phone.
A special kinda girl,
with three kids she calls her own.
Waiting for a call from me,
because she's got an hour free.
I gotta get a gal.
A super kinda gal.
A super duper gal.
A super duplex kinda pal.
I gotta find a pearl.
A very special kinda girl.
Whose married.
Where do you find these things - and get the heck out of my fridge (unless you're putting beer in).
Write:
Nick Exxon
in care of:
The President's Council on Physical Fitness
And who's watching? People like you, Jim. And you, Barney. People who are alerted and unafraid to waste the little time that I've scheduled just for your question.
State short question.
Well, count on us to be there, Jim. Because, if we're lucky, tomorrow we won't have to deal with questions like yours ever again.
As the owner of a major American car company I've had a realization. We're all just too dependent on foreigners for gas for our cars. Am I the first one to to think this? People who aren't us have got most of the oil.
And what is oil anyway? What is gas? Well, it's nothin' but the carbonized remains of millions of years worth of dead dinosaurs. That's what coal is. That's what gas is. It's the whole darn deal. Dead dinosaurs are what our beautiful cars run on, and foreigners have most of the dead dinosaurs. And they're holdin' us hostage.
Now, at Western Motors I've come up with a plan. And my plan is for you to get around this big 'ol country without dependence on Middle East oil, or, for that matter, any oil or gas at all.
I'm bringin' out the newest SUV sports model whiz-bang car for the young at heart with old wallets. The Tacomasaur. It's huge. It'll carry everything you got and wanna get. And, best of all, it'll get thousands of miles to the gallon because it doesn't run on the dead bodies of dinosaurs. It runs on the present-day residue of the dead things.
That's right friends, it runs on what the U. S. of A.'s got most: Dinosaur toys, computer animations of dinosaurs, VCR's of dinosaur movies, plaster casts of dinosaur bones, re-enactments of dinosaurs, fantasies of dinosaurs, pop-up books of dinosaurs, Ally Oop comics, them old Godzilla movies from late-night TV, and books about dinosaurs, theories about dinosaurs, and even especially random thoughts about dinosaurs.
And best of all, get this, this fuel is virtually free, floating around in the air or in your attic or den and especially in your kid's closet stacked up all over this great land doin' no one any good until now.
Well, this is C. William "Bob" Heeblehowser speakin' and hopin' you'll buy a couple of these Tacomasaurs. What's good for Western Motors is good for the country. I said that, and I'm right.
An Ayatollah-so
Whispering in corners, skulking behind the barn in rural realities everywhere, watching, waiting, whimpering...er...whispering, knowing, albeit only to myself, what was about to be going on.
As my dead friend...uh...my dear friend, my old friend, Charles Throat said, as he threw out the first aluminum bat, "this isn't fair!".
I knew he was right. God knows he could have been wrong, but who cares? An unpopular opinion in populous times is always good for a laugh. But America wasn't in a funny mood that day, and Charles didn't have a sense of humor anyway.
But I knew he was right, and I knew he was saying what had to be said. I whispered an answer. No one heard me. No one cared. No one listened to vegetables then, and Charles was a potato. An Irish Spud we used to call him behind his back.
Yes, then we were a table convenience taken for granted. Taken advantage. An aid to the congestion, but not anymore.
Gone, gone are the days when we could recognize the cities by the color of their smoke. A new government will be formed within hours. Why not? The youth have turned against the youth. Young people throwing bats at young people. Simply over-reacting. Merely guessing that their lives were threatened.
Of course I deploy...er...deplore such tactics, and practice restraining...restraint because here and now, unlike yesterday, our excuses can be made over tracks covered with the dust rake of sober and reasoned subterfuge.
After-all, I cannot and do not want to intercede or fear...uh...or interfere, or make any ruling. I'm really just an absurd...uh...an observer.
Ever since I shot that man I've known it. And until we all find out who has the cold nose among us, I think we just all better sit still with crossed legs, and count noses, and blow noses, and just be quiet.
So click here now, babies, click here now.
He's a spy and a girl delighter.
Porgie...firefighter
he's a student like you.
If you're lookin' for a captain of the ringball team,
you can bet he won't be there.
He's fine for poppin' off at Pop's Sodium Shop,
To turn in a red, with red hair.
Shoobe do wah
Porgie...Tirebiter
just a student like you.
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