Terrorist are attacking the Great Satan, sometimes referred to as the U.S.A. with impunity since being emboldened by recent release of state secrets that have provided aid and comfort to her enemies. The newest Terrorist Nuclear Device Delivery System is shown here in conjunction with this unfolding news story. Known for their ingenuity the terrorist have modified the plentifully available VW Bug to carry their murderous load safe from military intervention. Recently released onto the streets of America, terrorist and inventor of the "Bug Bomb", Alli Subjanski recently made an attack run on a major U.S. city - "the first of many more to come", Alli was quoted as shouting to News Chase Vehicles. The News Corp were right there to provide coverage for their viewers and classified information to the terrorist to maximize any aid or comfort they could on his way to his Target. Journalists provided first coverage as a result of a "Tip" when Alli crossed the border into the U.S. and have since tracked his relentless movement toward all possible targets. Terrorist Alli shared that due to zoning ordinances he was forced by local authorities to build his latest creation just the other side of the border in a Third-World workshop. "It slowed me down a lot!" Alli stated and added - "Parts were a bit harder to get, what with import duties and all. Would have been a lot easier with more open cooperation and hands across the border programs." Major cities along Alli's route were evacuated as much as possible until it was found to create such panic and inconvenience for those standing online at McDonald's that unnamed officials determined that U.S. citizens should simply remain in place and take their medicine. News readers, using cell phones, interviewed "Men on the Street" asking how they felt about their impending doom. The new weapon has proved unstoppable on its arc toward its final destination and Alli's entrance into paradise. An unsuccessful attempt to stop the onslaught of the weapon at one of its frequent stops for Sodas and Gazoline, was made by an interrogator sent by the Brownies (an arm of the zealous U.S. Girl Scouts one of the dangerous groups on the new Homeland Security List). Sadly, Brownie Interrogator Wendy McSpaddin (photos and address provided to any party anywhere on request) left the interrogation in tears when Congress Approved Interrogation Techniques proved fruitless. Terrorist Subjanski seemed quite miffed with the unwarranted intrusion into his mission as well as the insult to his religious beliefs. Wendy's mom revealed to the one news network who would speak to her, that there was a large boot mark on her daughter's backside and that Wendy was to be prosecuted for hurting Alli's feelings. Thankfully Alli was uninjured and undeterred by the ruthless interrogation and scolding from the seven year old girl. We'll keep viewers posted as this story progresses.