Old Malakoff Watertower by Brenda Edwards

Anonymous Guest 24 Sep 2015

I am with my husband for 6 years and marired for 4. We have just had another row a constant in our relationship. I constantly feel sad, low and unloved. Sex happens about three times a year, since we stopped trying for a baby (which I now realize is good for any potential child we would have had!) and I am constantly watching what I say. When I let my guard down I say something and he attacks. I am constantly anxious and angry with him. Most of the time I think I hate him, but if he is nice to me at all, the love I initially felt returns. I should have seen the signs he has no friends at all (and thinks that is normal), only one previous girlfriend before me (and he was in his mid 30s when I met him), weird relationship with his family, secretive. When we were about 6 months together we went on our first holiday and he attacked me (verbally) for interupting him when we were talking to someone and this has been a constant. He says he cannot trust me, that he cannot talk to me as I argue with him, that I have issues (who hasn't?) but will not accept that he might be part of the problem it is all down to me. About 6 months ago he told me he never wanted to marry me although he got down on one knee to ask me! It is since then that I realised that I had made a huge mistake. I waited until my 40s to marry and now here I am.However, we are in a predicament we owe a fortune and own three properties in negative equity. I am working part-time for myself and we really struggle. I think I want to seperate but I can't survive without his income I don't know what to do, and would appreciate some advice. The only positive is that there are no children involved.