Dorothy fields / jerome kern A fine romance, with no kisses A fine romance, my friend this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes But youre as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes A fine romance, you wont nestle A fine romance, you wont wrestle I might as well play bridge With my old maid aunt I havent got a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance, my good fellow You take romance, Ill take jello Youre calmer than the seals In the arctic ocean At least they flap their fins To express emotion A fine romance with no quarrels With no insults and all morals Ive never mussed the crease In your blue serge pants I never get the chance This is a fine romance