"There's nothing where it used to lie My inspiration has run dry That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor You're a little late, I'm already torn." Alright, so maybe a little over the deep end with the lyrics but it's how I've felt lately ever since I started my old passion back up. I love martial arts, it broke my heart when my Tae-Kwan-Do had to close down back when I was ten but let's face it, back then I had time and dedication for my artform and now my tastes have changed. I watch Mirissa go through her forms in this new Martial Art I'm willing to try, but I've been afraid lately that this will tear me. I put my heart into my artwork, it may not be the best work in the world but artwork isn't a competition it's a way of expression that I've fallen in love with over and over again. This is where my future lies, this is where I want to be. I'm afraid that when I go back to class this week that I'll find that I can't put my entire heart into it. I feel as if my heart's being torn in two. Ever since my very first tournament I was inspired to do my very best in martial arts and was only four belts from black. Yet as my father says, black belts are a dime a dozen and the only thing that matters is the detication and what you learn from the art that means anything. I want back in, I honestly do, the problem that's nagging at my heart is what if I can't fill the bill this time? I put my heart into my drawings but this too will take time and practice...what if I lose one in the process? I'm not making any rash descitions yet, but if my classes cut into my art work or my education then I'm afraid I'll have to throw in my belt. ;_;