"Chaos or Not" is my first painting. I painted it after I examined what Chaos means to me. Chaos is something I know so little about I'm not sure if I'm spelling it right! I seem to live an orderly, structured, balanced life; however, I am attracted to chaos. It seems exciting. My personal artistic style seems structured and mechanical. I would like to see what it feels like to be chaotic and what it would be like to express it in art. How will it feel, what will it look like and where do I begin? Although I don't want total chaos in my life, I think to have some would bring a new form of energy. After considerable research and personal exploration I can say that true chaos is not where I want to be. Chaos feels disturbing to me. It is unsettling, and promotes anxiety. I discovered that what I was attracted to was spontaneity, rhythm and expression, not chaos! I've learned that from the chaos of disparate parts-(movements, symbols, shapes, planes and fragments)-emerges a context of understanding, simplification, and order. And maybe even beauty. "From a painting that appears chaotic,(the chaos of the moment)the image becomes the order of the mind of the viewer." After completing this painting I decided I wanted to start painting. One of the best decisions of my life!!