Jan. 9th: Timothy just learned that Columbus wasn't bi-polar until 1493. "It's ironic to watch a Columbus documentary on my flat screen TV."
Jan. 9th: Timothy just learned that Columbus wasn't bi-polar until 1493. "It's ironic to watch a Columbus documentary on my flat screen TV."
Jan. 8th: Timothy was late for his appointment at Apple Inc yesterday... "I got into the elevator & accidentally hit shuffle."
Jan. 7th: Timothy just bought a stand-up bass. It's really good at impressions. But still not as funny as the singing bass on the wall.
Jan. 6th: Timothy just got done playing tennis & discovered he's a Charlie Horse Whisperer... "My leg says it wants to drink an icy hot cocktail."
Jan. 5: Timothy Simpson wishes a caravanning troupe of Chinese acrobats would get pulled over for a DWI. "Now that's a sobriety test i'd like to see!"
Dec. 31: Timothy Simpson just walked past a cafe entirely for dogs. Every table had squeaky food. "Special of the day, Fresh Rubber Porkchops." Yum! [Squeak!]
Dec. 29th: Timothy Simpson is wearing a new turtle neck sweater he got for Xmas… "Whenever I lay on my back I can't roll over."
Dec. 26th: Timothy poured 'Liquid Plumber' down a drain & thinks it may have damaged the pipes. Timothy is now on his way to buy Liquid Lawyer.