March 6th 2012: Congrats to Mayor McCheese… he’s now the new father of sextuplet sliders. Surprisingly no, I’m not in favor of nude sunbathing… I say wear a sombrero. & make sure to check out the new kickstarter project for my low budget film, ‘War Bunny’
March 5th 2012: Have they made silly string cheese yet? Yeesh! Vegas has the worst Coinstar machines ever. They say that TV is dumbing down America. Well I just saw 3 min of Jersey Shore & I go play with Lego now. Looky I make a lego staircase.
March 2nd 2012: [Bonus]
Hmmm that should be my bumper sticker... go for the juggler. [I'd put it on my front bumper.] 1st rule of Clown fight club: Honk! Honk
March 2nd 2012: I say we make tap shoes for spiders… I want to know where they are at all times! Justin beiber is hilarious… his perpetual pants drop is genius. [1 suggestion, bright polka-dotted shorts] What 3 things would i bring to a dessert isl? 3 forks...
Feb 29th 2012: So why didn’t anyone tell me we weren’t showing up to work in frog costumes for leap day? Damn, keep writing March 1st on my checks today! Silly leap day. Singing Leap Day carols all day… “Extra Day Tripper” “Jump” “Froggy went a courtin” “525,600 + another 1440 mins” & “No really, 8 days a wk”. My family's gathering around the dinner table tonight while my dad carves the roasted frog legs... Happy Leap Day Everybody!
Feb 28th 2012: [Bonus]
In China they don't make pants big enough for you to have a lil junk in your trunk... however, maybe a kayak...
As a responsible unicorn owner I had Mr. Pokey's horn trimmed. Thot I was safe till I heard the electric pencil sharpener in the next room.
Feb 28th 2012: While at a picnic, an eagle swooped in & stole our margarine… was that the spread eagle I’ve heard so much about? New! Minute rice paper... but you have to write really fast... I typed this w 1 leg out of my robe so consider this sexting.
Feb 24th 2012: [Bonus]
Last night I won an Amateur Blues Harp competition at an open mic. I just hope that this will now open the door for more Cracker-Americans
And now... a magic trick. Let’s do the South African prediction... I'm thinking of a number between Click & Pop... is it Tock? Thank you.
Feb 24th 2012: Tonight on Irony Chef…. Chefs in wrinkly smocks. At the zoo I saw a cage marked Monkey’s Uncles... it was filled w pessimistic critics. The real monkey was in a habitat marked Nicolas Cage. Quick shout out to my peeps back in Funky town.
Feb 23rd 2012: [?Bonus]
5 out of 4 doctors agree that I have dyslexia.
My friend who's a chess player says he has athletes foot... How’s that possible?
