Profile

Portfolio

Slideshow

Store

Videos

Bio

Private Gallery

Blog

Contact

Website

Portfolio Blog

08 May, 2009

April 23rd: Timothy Simpson went to a used pet store yesterday. They were selling Ok Danes, Carob Labs, Pit-less bulls, a Mexican Hair plug, a Heresy Bernard & a New Yorkie... "Friggin Bark!"

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 22nd: Happy Bearthday to me… Hey?! Where are my gifts, clean coal, a giant windmill, some free range plastic bags? When's the Prius limo bringing my cake with melted icing caps… if you can't stand the heat, get away from my birfday cake!

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 20th: Timothy Simpson wonders… do Smart Cars come with a carrying case? I saw a biker with a smart car rack on his back. Aren't they afraid of being car-jacked by 30 clowns? Half car will travel.

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 17th: Timothy Simpson is excited about the new hybrid electric chair… it also offers Stir Fry & Steamed… & it's also recumbent & has "Magic fingers" for 75 cents. Does Utah use the natural gas chair?

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 16th: Timothy Simpson is thinking again… we need a food irons to help spread hard butter on soft bread, motorcycle mutes, velcro eye lids for Opera, an elevator to China…

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 15th: Timothy Simpson woke up to his fish talking about Obama, the economy & American Idol… Damn! I bought TOPICAL fish. It's funny to hear big mouth bass whispering. But listening to them, trust me they are no angel fish!

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 14th: Timothy Simpson has a stick garden. I just changed the sign to "Keep Off Weeds". My air fern has asthma & uses a breathalyzer & my Venus Fly Trap has lock jaw so I replaced his uvula with a bug zapper…

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 13th: Timothy Simpson is suspicious of his auto mechanic… 4 new brake socks? A new sun visor gasket? A bumper cozy? A rebuilt glove compartment? 2 Badly worn fuzzy dice? Am i too paranoid? He told me i needed to switch to soy gas? Then he suggested my steering wheel needed a hub cap, the fan belt buckle is worn, & that my floor mats needed balancing & rotating. Yeesh!

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 10th: Timothy Simpson got a ticket from a K-9 Unit for blocking a fire hydrant… instead of showing my I.D. I had to get out of my car so he could sniff my heiny. Beware speeders… the K-9 unit now use laser pointers. Last week i was in San Diego & i got pulled over by 2 Mexican Border Collies... true story!!

Reply

22 Apr, 2009

April 9th: Timothy Simpson is musing… with hamster globes on the rise, will we see more incidences of hit & scamper? Will really good alphabet soup include a giant blue 'A' in every can? How do swordfish kiss?

Reply