July 10th: Timothy 's Weekend scraps: Where do you buy quicksand? There's never a sign. A Light house? Really? How much does it weigh? And yes... the Pocket Fisherman does work… I caught 6 pockets! Class dismissed.
July 10th: Timothy 's Weekend scraps: Where do you buy quicksand? There's never a sign. A Light house? Really? How much does it weigh? And yes... the Pocket Fisherman does work… I caught 6 pockets! Class dismissed.
July 9th: Timothy wonders what the conversation will be like in Hell… [Pt 1]: "I wrote Ishtar", "I discovered the Bay City Rollers." "I was the 1st to dot my I's with hearts", "I came up with pink ink", "I invented the Panflute"... Maybe this could be a sequel to "Defending Your Life", entitled "Conversations in Hell" Can you picture Albert Brook's face turning around after watching a clip from earth showing his brilliant ideas for Speedos, Disco & Car Bras.
July 8th: Timothy... Why are airfares to Alaska & Hawaii so pricy. During the TV weather report I noticed they're just below Baja California. [Now I get why folks are mad at Sarah Palin… you can't see Russia from Baja California… duh!]
July 7th: Timothy loves to stroll & browse for nicnacs… "Hey where's the Sidewalk Sale?" "You're standing on it sir!" At every garage sale i ask myself, "Hmmm, do i need anything for the attic?" The missus loves to shop. We saw an ad for a 3 day sale & she said, "I'll see you sometime Tues!"
July 3rd: Timothy wonders... what are the ingredients for a sausage? Pork… Fat… & Gravel?! What are those hard gristly fragments... Dental Speed Bumps? I almost have enough of them for a necklace. Next year maybe I'll landscape my aquarium. We can grow seedless watermelons, pitted prunes... & yet a pebble free sausage is too much too ask for?
July 2th: Timothy... if there was a plaque fairy I’d be rich! We need musical floss that plays the Orange Blossom Special? If you have fewer teeth, just play the ringtone version.
July 1st: Timothy thinks announcing gigs on Facebook is fine for his show pals but much harder for the rest. "Plumber bob is fixing Mary Grizzlepuss's pea trap" "Carpenter Fred is sanding Frank Lollipuckles banister". "Gardener Gary is trimming Nurse Doolittles topiary."
June 30th: Timothy does not have a green thumb… My air fern uses an inhaler, vultures are circling my dead Chiapet & apparently I grow cocktail size cantaloupes. Oops, there's my timer. I'll be right back… i'm trying to grow 3 minute eggplants
June 29th: Timothy is having a Q & A with his muse... isn't a monster clown car redundant? Does an insomniac daydreamer count possums? And oh sure a Glass-eye marble tournament sounds fun… until someone loses an eye!
June 24th: Timothy... Ok, I've had a root canal & 3 fillings… but this body cavity search thing… I don't care how good the toy… I'll brush better & floss more frequent… but that's it! And how big is this body tooth? I'll keep a tusk in my pocket just in case.