March 13th 2012: Hey, is trending a problem for you? Apply Hydrogen Peroxide... it’s a topical solution. Some spring breaks are actually very classy... I remember once catching a wet tuxedo t-shirt contest. &&&&&&&&&&&&... 8’s in a yoga class.
March 13th 2012: Hey, is trending a problem for you? Apply Hydrogen Peroxide... it’s a topical solution. Some spring breaks are actually very classy... I remember once catching a wet tuxedo t-shirt contest. &&&&&&&&&&&&... 8’s in a yoga class.
March 12th 2012: [Bonus]
The inventor of the 'Suitcase' has died. The funeral will include just 1 pallbearer.
My accordion weighs about 10 lbs. 28 lbs if you count the monkey w the tin cup on my back. On a good night 31 lbs. Jingle jingle.
March 12th 2012: Did u know that in Clown College I was the Capt. of the nose diving team? Smart Car gear shifts should have a 'G'. "Godspeed” should be standard equipment. Wow, I saw an Engineer whose head was so big… he had an ipad behind 1 of his ears
March 9th 2012: [Bonus]
I watched a Howler Monkey Whisperer work… he stood about 300 ft away.
Food fight in Hungary? I'll assume ammo is very scarce!
Performed at the Improv… you’ll never guess who was waiting in the wings… yep, the San Diego Chicken...
I work best when i get blank stares - Free Range Slinky
Wow, stilts are so expensive… they cost an arm & a leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg.
March 9th 2012: OK then, why make the silica packets bite size???? Just bought those Rosetta Stone Age discs... “Ugwa Nuhgna” That’s good morning in knuckle-drag-man. I wonder if CB radio has gone WIFI… Over?!
March 8th 2012: [Bonus]
Did you know that Carmen Electra was named after her mother, Carmen Acoustra
Farmer credits his good bumper crop this year to his parking enforcement scarecrow
New hip restaurant is offering a tramp stamped rump roast... Don't forget to order the pierced cow tongue too...
March 8th 2012: You are what you eat… I ate a bowl of passion fruit & started singing YMCA. Has a blimp ever got stuck on 1 of the Mt. Rushmore heads? Mohammed Dali… "float like a butterfly, sing like Swiss Cheese”
March 7th 2012: [Bonus]
FYI... if you go fishing & catch a Cheshire catfish... toss it back, they aren’t good eating… they’re all teeth
Even though I’m good… I still love to push the limits. After my time on earth is done, they’d better hand me a Halo w a chinstrap.
I would love to grow a beef tree just to confuse & infuriate vegans
March 7th 2012: Has the Wiener mobile been carjacked by a forklift yet? Y’know you’ve had too much plastic surgery if your driver’s license suggests donor for “Animal Balloons” Wow, thx to Rosetta Stone last night I snored in Chinese… ??, ??,??…[Z-Z-Z-Z]
March 6th 2012: [Bonus] While in Thailand I got stuck in a sex traffic jam... apparently someone’s trickshaw broke down.