August 11th: Timothy performed for a Multiple Personalities Convention last night… There were only 3 people. 1 was the conga line, 1 was the buffet line & 1 was the awards banquet. Some of him thought I was funny. A friend with multiple personality syndrome called me the other day & my caller ID exploded. & get this, they called me on their 'I'm so hip' we-phone. [Or I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-Phone?]
August 10th: Timothy thinks it's time to diet… last night I saw my belly on Google Earth. I used to sit in front of a watchman TV & eat a 2 inch TV dinner, now i eat a 36" wide screen TV Dinner. So far the only appetite suppressor I found that works is Red Velvet Cake.
August 7th: Timothy's Weekend Scraps: Shouldn't we use a Salad Forklift to unload Arugula from a truck? A Plankton flavored slurpy is a nice idea until the whale gets a brain freeze! Hmmm, what to buy a stilt walker for his birthday... 3 ottomans?
August 6th: Timothy wonders, before Lego land was there a Lincoln Log Land? [Oh yeah the wild frontier] So what's next… Face Book Land?! Get tagged in a photo with Wiki Mouse & visit Great Moments with Me… Come to the "The Humblest Place on Earth".
August 5th: Timothy wasn't surprised when the Animals Rights people called & asked him to stop letting his dog watch Paris Hiltons BFF. My dog is actually very shy… he doesn’t even sniff on the first date… & boy is he happy about our bide… he thinks we bought him a water pick. His name is buckles
Aug 4th: Timothy thinks Piñata's take a lot of inertia… so to inspire people, how about designing a Geraldo Rivera Piñata… except you have to use a chair… Incidentally during Cinco De Mayo, don't die your poodle red orange or yellow.
August 3rd: Timothy... Seriously? Unscented scratch n sniff perfume samples? An ugly plastic surgeon? Condoms at a thrift store? Whole Wheat Twinkies? For rent, a basement apartment in Venice, Italy? Seriously? Not.
July 31st: Timothy's Weekend scraps: If the Shoe that the lil ol lady lives in catches fire, do firemen bring a giant shoehorn? With all those Superheroes on Hollywood Blvd, has crime decreased? Whenever the human cannonball visits; he always leaves a huge hole in my wall. & how do those street drummers learn to play buckets… bucket hero?
July 30th: Today Timothy Is kickin it old school… "Ye ol hands up! Yo school marm with yo bonnet so tight, teach me & Ezekial to read & write, When that giant bell clangs we ain't no fool, we'll run off kickin it, kickin it old school! Where my posse at… lookin for bank robbers? Oh."
July 29th: Timothy had to put his Cat on the Nipoderm Patch. I caught him running a Catnip Cartel. Also, after searching his window sill I found a book, '101 ways to ignore my human!' I'm on to you, Buckles!
