Sept. 11th: Timothy's Weekend Scraps: Do they have Tennis Racquet Hero yet? The Pandemic scares me... all those Peter Pans... yikes! Did you know Hostess once had a giant Twinkie Mobile? Beware the Cling Watermelon. ...My eyes still glisten for the victims of 911
Sept. 10th: Timothy wonders if anyone has seen the edited scenes on the Wiz of Oz DVD? Originally they left behind a Hippo who needed a bladder, the Scarecrow was discovered holding a 'Slow' sign near a Yellow Brick Road sinkhole & the Wiz traded the Tin man in during cash for clunkers.
Sept. 9th: Timothy is trying to teach his dog how to fist bump & Bark Obama! As a reward I gave him my cellphone & let him enjoy my roll over minutes. Last night I caught him on my computer trying to delete my homework.
Sept. 4th: Timothy's Weekend Scraps: How come no one cares about my giant ball of dental floss I collected for 20 yrs? Just bought a small can of 'Twitter' alphabet soup… contains only 140 letters. A friend said he's taking his watchdog to be fixed… was he running slow?
Sept. 2nd: Timothy's Pop Quiz... "Only 1 of these is true": Before Gatorade, Vikings poured hot oil on their victorious leaders back, for sweeps week PBS's Masterpiece Theater will present Elizabethan Mud Wrestling, or a Yoko Ono CD is best played on an electric can opener... Good Luck. [To be fair, Yoko's vocal coach was a wounded coyote.]
Sept. 1st: Timothy… we now join Timothy already in progress… People say they're always trying to get into shape. I'm fine. I was going for oval. I bought the "Buns of Jello" DVD. If they need a testimonial i'm available. My latest exercise idea… a 300 lb Fridge Magnet
August 31st: Timothy muses... We need more vehicles like the Wiener mobile. How about a Milk Man driving a giant Utter? A Lawyer driving a giant screw. A Plumber' driving with a giant 'trunk' cleavage…
August 28th: Timothy's Weekend Scraps: Where are my Chameleon skinned boots? I joined an abridged book club... we meet for 3 mins every month. In Olympic weightlifting do they deduct points for breaking wind? If you play a 'Bubble' Bagpipe people seem less offended.
August 27th: Timothy is sad because his cat just left with a can opener tucked in a hanky on stick. He also had his 7th autobiography tucked under his paw pit. I called him a bad cat after I noticed the mice had put awnings above their mouse holes... Sorry Buckles
August 26th: Timothy has a way around those intersection cameras… paint your car non-photo blue! In Calif some have been replaced by caricature artists. Citations have already been sent to people with big heads & little vehicles. Someone hide Jay Leno
