Sept. 24b: Timothy put a giant ball of string on Ebay. So far 4 bids... Fluffywant, MeanMittens, MewTube & HissyTrixie... I'm keeping my huge rubber band ball... yes it's dangerous & someone could lose an eye... but if 1 day I just snap, I'll have plenty of ammo
Sept. 23rd: Timothy is wonder what Piglet is doing … It’s Blustery day… Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon… Hai Pooh
Sept. 22nd: Timothy met a comic tourette… “TO STAMP OUT FLAMING DUCKS!” “PLEASE!” “OK, YOU’RE UGLY TOO!” “NOT ANOTHER HAT!” “MOOOO!”
Sept. 21st: Timothy is at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas, 28th floor suite [They misspelled sweeeeet!] All the tables have only 1 leg. Everywhere you look there are flamingos… glad I’m not staying at the Pigeon Hotel.
Sept 18th: Timothy's Pop Quiz... Only 1 of these is true: Donny Osmond's new CD is a hit & has just gone enamel, a Tiny man in Kansas has been diagnosed with Nugget Pox, a Triple Siamese twin is actually called a Triamese Twin or a man is innocent until proven celebrity. Tick tock!
Sept. 17th: Timothy believes that if you write something on a legal pad it makes it legal. Does too. Yes it does. Uh huh... so sue me! All piggy banks must be sent to Tim for Swine Flu Quarantine. It's now the law. I just wrote it down.
Sept. 16th: Timothy... Seriously?! Fruit is lovely, but if someone wants to win my favor, send me a Meat Basket! Darwin, how long before we'll have a Brine Land Monkey? OK, so obesity is an illness... can I skip work & call in fat? Seriously! [I can't even skip!]
Sept. 15th: Timothy went to the American Blues Awards... They had a huge handicap parking lot, 37 seeing-eye dogs, blues closed captioning to translate normal grammar into inaudible mumbling & no wive's were present... they all don' lef.
Sept. 14th: So a friend says to me, "I juth got my tongue piewrced. What dwo you Thwink?" Nithe? Maybe I'll get a tongue clip-on. My only pause for concern... if you're over 300 lbs don't get a nose ring... it looks too much like a hitch
