Oct. 23rd: Timothy's Weekend Scraps: Why do chalk outlines always appear to be the death of an interpretive dancer? Guilty of food fighting, I had to pay the food court bailiff in food stamps. My uncles out of the hospital, he went from critical condition to sarcastic & snippy.
Oct. 22nd: Timothy's Pop Quiz [Only 1 of these is true]: Since the rain panic, L.A. Home Depots are now selling Rain Shelters. When in a group, Lawyers actually swim in a circle. Obstetricians can tell it's a girl if they hear a cellphone ringing from inside the womb. Kids today are more attractive... thanx to photoshop
Oct. 21st: Timothy just bought a 27" Flat Screen Microwave... it's great for baking Quesadillas, Pizzas & Flounder. With Picture Picture i can cook 2 meals at once.
Oct. 20th: Timothy... Seriously?! Unfinished Furniture? Who needs a 3-Legged Chair or a Endless Table? "Your call is important to us..." but not enough to hire a staff to speak with us personally? A Grunge Clown?! Seriously?!
Oct. 19th: Timothy wonders if we will ever have a Swiss Army Car? Features could include a little hacksaw for meters, a long tweezer for tickets & fliers, a cell phone arm, nose trimmer, Tazer for slow drivers & a really nice toothpick holder.
Oct. 16th: Timothy 's Weekend scraps: Do Cows ever crave a Crouton? Worker at a Decoy Duck factory discovered his Boss was Fake. The Beach needs a Speedo Limit... 120 lbs!
Oct. 15th: Timothy had a Rodeo Clown Audition... Its very hard to make bulls laff. Usually they just see red. "Take my Mad Cow... Please! By a show of Hoofs, who's married? Who's Lactose Intolerant?" I had them till I said "Try the Roast Beef."
Oct. 14th: Timothy saw a video of people choosing piano stairs vs an escalator. Let's continue... Down escalator or fire pole slide whistle? Carve turkey with an electric knife or Cello steak knife? Riding lawn Mower or a push mowing Hurdy Gurdy?
Oct. 13th: Timothy's Pop Quiz: [Only 1 of these is true]: Oscar Maher also has a Cocktail Wiener Mobile which is smaller than the Smart Car. The no#1 video bought by Women is "Men Gone Faithful!" Many Magicians' assistants develop a fear of falling up. Ha! I kill me!
Oct. 12th: Timothy needs some new Blackberry Apps... How 'bout a Pencil Sharpener on the side? A Spork Stiletto? A Handheld ATM would be nice... download & receive cash. Harmonica Hero? An Iphone cloner... steals all the apps from Iphones.
