Dec. 28th: Hmmm...There's very little news about the swine sore throat or swine cold. This weekend I got a cramp in my hammock. Anyone else? Raise your hooves.
Dec. 28th: Hmmm...There's very little news about the swine sore throat or swine cold. This weekend I got a cramp in my hammock. Anyone else? Raise your hooves.
Dec. 24th: Timothy Simpson 's Weekend Scraps: Woo Hoo! My dog just got into obedience school on a Frisbee scholarship. If you are what you eat then call me Sponge Cake Square Pants. I read where a Vegan had a palm tree growing out of his head... so... a man can be an island?! MERRY XMAS FOLKS
Dec. 23rd: Seriously? Dr said I have A.D.D. yet last night I was able to watch 48 hrs, hello! Enough 3-d movies! My eyes are tired. Can I just go see a movie in 2-d please?! Next year I'm going to become a professional Xmas Letter ghost writer. Lordy! Just give us an arc! [Until then, please just send a Xmas logline] Seriously!
Dec. 22nd: Only 1 of these is true: Quasimoto could go for days without water, just south of the Bible Belt is the Dianetics Belt, Walmart now has a Divorce Gift Registry, In Venice, Italy, Croc pants are the new rage & Medicine Balls are tough to swallow.
Dec. 21st: Saw a lot of Holiday themed acts on Hollywood Blvd Saturday... watched a Magician work so slooow... using turtle doves, saw a Fire Eater use a Menorah, saw a Frog outside the Disney theater with Mistletoe & heard a Street Percussionist bang out Little Bucket Boy
Dec. 19th: Timothy Simpson 's Weekend Scraps: How long before IHOP has red velvet pancakes? Y'know... Cheese Logs are lovely but they just don't burn as well as normal logs. Need $$? Go to an ATM. Click on 'Withdrawls & then just under checking or savings click on 'Bailout!'
Dec. 19th: Had some odd GIG's... got a job with the musical "Rent"... I stood out front & spun a giant playbill. Performed for the Airline Luggage Handlers convention... I went to the wrong city. Performed a Roast for a mob boss. Next morning I found the head of a rubber chicken in my bed
Dec. 16th: Are the Global Warming Games still going on in Copenhagen? Did I miss the Downhill Broad Jump? The Alpine Jungle Hurdles? The Bob Go-Carts? Water Hockey? Figure Rollerblading? [I especially like the figure 8 crop circles they do.]
Dec. 15th: Seriously?! Symbol font? Who is this for? Creative cussers? Percussionists? Asylum Stenographers? Greeting cards... How about a few retaliation cards? Organic tomatoes? As opposed to the usual ceramic tomatoes? Joggers... who's chasing you?! Seriously?!
Dec. 14th: Be careful where you dine out... I went to the Fred Lobster... the Lobster Loaf was OK & the Clam Chops were well cooked... But the Mussel Sprouts & Shrimp Mcnuggets were disappointing. [I'll be here all week... try the Eel]
Don't forget the Mackerel & Cheese, Shrimp Phooey, Red Velvet Crab Cake & Octopie. Order them all & ask for a Soggy Bag.