Jan. 19th, 2010: Seriously? Is the flashing 'Don't Walk' now invisible? When did it become 'Mosey'? How about 'Walk' & 'Seriously' or 'Walk' & 'Pull!' Blam Blam! Pretzel 'Sticks'? Were these slip knot pretzels? 3 Pancakes=1 thimble of syrup? "Waiter... an eye dropper please?" Seriously?!
Jan. 15th 2010: Timothy Simpson 's Weekend Scraps: Saw a sign, "Neighborhood Watch... now in 3-d!" My eyes are so tired I'm just going to join a Neighborhood Listen.... Soon we won't know humans from their avatars... "Funny, you don't look bluish?" I have a gig tonight for Wonder Bread... should I wear a twist tie?
Jan. 14th 2010: Today's Discussion Point: Poor Conan? [aka Coco] Why's he quitting? Fatigued by the weeknight hour of adulation? Fed up with the team of comedy writers making him brilliant? Wants to work on his Solo album? What?! Come into work a half hour later? You'd have to pay me 7 million bucks... oh wait a minute... hmmm, are they hiring...
Jan. 13th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: New Wii CPR... worse than not reviving a patient... you get that sad mopey loser avatar. A new Phonetic School is opening featuring classes in Sikology, Fis Ed & Phrench. Home Depot now sells banana lathes for straighter bananas & its raining
Jan. 12th 2010: How do people rate me? 1: Genius. 2: Genius. 3: Genius . 4: Genius . 5: Genius . 6: Genius . 7: Genius . 8: Genius . 9: Genius... or 10: Genius . Please, only choose one...
Jan. 8th 2010: Timothy Simpson 's Weekend Scraps: I'd like a sink with 3 handles... Hot, Cold & Just Right! Met an ol buddy... Gitty the Clown... he's always chasing rainbow wigs. I also met a Jay Leno lookalike, "Why the long face" "Goiter"
Jan. 7th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Stray cows are hit more often by stray bullets than cows in a herd, if a butcher can't sleep he counts lamb chops, Blues legend Howling Wolf has a son named Angry Bunny & before Fortune Cookies, they unsuccessfully tried Fortune Raviolis.
Jan 5th 2010: Timothy Simpson New Year's Resolutions: Drive by the gym twice a week, invent edible silica, have Birth Marx removed [It's actually shaped like Groucho] Master Lego... level 43 & create my own trinity... Timothy... Man Myth... Legend.
Dec. 30th: Today's Discussion Point: Sweater Vests... Were there full sweater suits? Sweater Tuxedos? Thank you for leaving the sweater pants in the closet, Wally. Isn't it really just a Torso Cozy? Shouldn't it say "Grandpa in Training" on the back? or "My other sweater is a Corgi Cardigan"
[Down vest are cool because they give you that 12 pac... very sexy for my pet turtle. And where were all the Xmas ski masks this year? Don't burglars ever feel festive? I believe the snuggie vest or sweater hoodie are not far behind]
Dec. 29th: 3 fun riffs I had last weekend... Stilt walker showed me a family photo, "Is that your extended family?" Another pal said his bro the plumber moved back home, "So he's going to be a permanent fixture?" Saw a big guy get out of a lil car, "Is that a Ninny Cooper?"
