Feb. 18th 2010: Ah the 99 cent store... you get what you pay for... Instead of 'Best Foods' Mayo it's actually 'OK Foods' Mayo... Instead of 'Chicken of the Sea', it's 'Pigeon of the Sea'. I also got the spray, 'I Can't Believe It's Not Better' & a cheap CD of the 3 tenors featuring Paparazzi, Placebo & Corona.
Feb. 17th 2010: ok... it's out there... I needed to go viral... so I put out a damning sex tape... now in 3-d! It's me cuddling with my wife... alone... reading Sarah Palin's book... & wearing Clippers PJ's. I know I know... I'm through in Hollywood
Feb. 16th 2010: Men, have you taken the missus to Cirque Du Sephora yet? Egads! It's Home Depot for women. You can save a lot of money if you are a traveling Kabuki troupe. 1 lady sat in a chair wearing so much pancake make-up I told her next time to order the short stack.
Feb. 14th 2010: Timothy's weekend scraps... I need more space... Monday I'm replacing my coffee table with a giant cup holder! After a physical, does Simon Cowell hope his test results will comeback uber negative? So odd, I went to help relocate a prosthetic shop but the owner kept saying to "Take a knee"
Feb. 13th 2010: Only 1 of these is False: I just spent an hour putting hand sanitizer on my giant hand chair. Yesterday I saw a lady wearing XXXL cargo pants. One of the hardest songs to use for a sing-a-long is taps. I sprained my neck & couldn't eat a taco for 3 weeks.
Feb. 12th 2010: Mad scientists... are there other 'Mad' vocations? Mad Gardeners? "It's Alive! But needs watering" Mad Actuarys? "World denominations... carry the one!" Mad Chefs? "Neutrons? Idiot, I said croutons!" Mad clowns... Dr. Heckle & Mr. Pie... muh-ha-ha
Feb 11th 2010: Seriously?! Any new Apps for my etch-a-sketch? Not even 1? I don't know, how about... diagonal?!!! "And now the HD weather report?" Wow, yes! That rain looks so so Moist! Used harmonicas for sale? Sure, & can I get some of those used toothbrushes & q-tips as well. Seriously?!
Feb. 10th 2010: Vancouver is worried they might not have enough snow for the Olympics... not me, I'm looking forward to the downhill slip n slide, figure swimming & my favorite... the 4 man kayak...
Feb. 9th 2010: Timothy's Weekend Scraps: Hey, the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band is back... Their new sweaters drop today... very gritty... very dirty... Like Popeye, I want a song when I eat Gingko & my head to grow huge. Hmmm I wonder... would a Cannibal be disappointed after ordering the Lumberjack breakfast?
Feb. 4th 2010: I had a few bad dreams last night... 1st I sat naked in the middle of a musical saw orchestra, next i was wearing a plastic suit called 'Tupper Wear' & couldn't burp & finally I sat in a theater with 1 chair for a heavy metal mariachi concert. So happy to be awake.
