March 6th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: Why are folks expanding their ear lobes with giant holes… are hubcaps now an accessory? I bought an outdoor pool at IKEA… in the box was a Swedish beaver & a bundle of sticks. Save $$, buy your kids a Free Range Ant Farm… tell them it’s outside… somewhere
March 5th 2010: Say, why not a Spring Olympics? We could have the Downhill Kite Flying, the Butterfly Biathlon… [Frolic & Shoot], Curling or Spring Cleaning with a Turtle, Cross Country Pollination & The Bob-barrow.
-Fall Olympics?? There's Olympic Nose Diving, The Ice Fallies & the Hop Skip & Step on a Rake. [Say, why don't the fuzzy slipper people design a Bobsled for night sledding?]
March 4th 2010: Did you know: Acrobats worry about their Carbon Hand Print? Compared to other jobs, workers at the helium factory get twice as many floating holidays? & after a good season, Farmers often use triple A to help harvest their bumper crop?
March 3rd 2010: Well, there’s no easy way to say this… Perhaps I am proficiently poised to pontificate prominently peculiar ponderings, puffy potshots & pungent piddly puns to purposely please, promote, pledge & provide proper popular pandemonium? Probably.
March 2nd 2010: Who knew the rubber chicken was the funny one? Was the rubber sparrow too small? Was the rubber ostrich to big? How about a tiny rubber cuckoo... a laugh riot every hour! Reminds me of my favorite comedy magician Lance Buttons & his rubber chicken production...
Feb. 26th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend scraps… The dog show winner was disqualified… tested positive for SQUIRREL! The Ice Dancers from India should have done a hip hop routine. I worry that when they go to put out the Olympic flame, they’ll throw a bucket of water on Johnny Weir
Feb. 25th 2010: Timothy‘s take on the Olympics… Families wait for Ice skating all night while NBC broadcasts Snow Chess, Ice Caroms & the Biathlon? [In Minnesota its called Drive Biathlons] So far it’s all downhill [Ho!] NBC plans to issue an apology… when? At 2:00AM!!! Does Toyota make a Bobsled?
Feb. 24th 2010: So, i show up to a funny car race with my clown car... 1 horse power, huge brake shoes, 32 cup holders… & I didn’t win? Hello?! I was the funniest car… My midget pit crew stole the show! [FYI, the voice on my GPS is Red Skelton & a clown horn]
Feb. 23rd 2010: Flame decals on cars... so overdone. If you want us to think you're fast how about a parachute decal or blurry cheetah. A better use of the flame decal would be on a mailmans bag or a DMV workers hat. Runners could get a flame tattoo or just stand there with a joke gun banner that says "Whoosh"
Feb. 19th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Most of these Dog Shows are fixed... Bob Barker says that's a good thing. The I-Phone has a new Hotplate app... cooks waffles the size of memory cards, an irregular Carney Glass Eater found relief eating fiberglass & Tim is pretty.
