March 22nd 2010: What a weekend… Went to a low budget carnival with a hand-crank Ferris Wheel, [As opposed to a high-class carnival?] Mispronounced Gnocchi & got slapped for ordering nookie & got dehydrated after i met a gal from Aerobia & tried to speak aerobic
March 19th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: Thanks to Orbit gum… & can now walk & chew gum in a circle. [Ugh!] I made a brief thumbnail sketch of an antigravity car & sadly it came off in the shower… & laughter is not always the best medicine… Ask your dr if slapping your knee, throwing your head back & splitting your sides is right for you.
March 18th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Dizzy Gillespie was also a great baseball pitcher & had a mean spitball, it’s illegal to use the font comic sans in a will, scientists have found proof of ‘British’ dinosaurs with their find of the primordial brew tea bags & Tim loves to confound people… ?
Prize: 1 bag of paperless origami animals for you!
March 17th 2010: It’s time for something new… I’ll even accept quarter-baked ideas. How about indoor cars? Ergonomic underpants? Where are the 3-d TV dinners? [Tuna Avatartar anyone?] I’ve seen the chocolate orange? Where’s the chocolate orange tree? Let's go people!
March 16th 2010: I had a tough time sleeping last night... I bought some clownfish & every time they hit the glass, their noses squeaked… Clownfish are easy to catch… just grab their pointy hats above water… There’s usually 1 in every school. 30 if you can go fishing & catch a baby booty.
& incase you are wondering... yes they taste funny
March 15th 2010: Sunday the picnic in our backyard was interrupted by an incessant ringing… OMG… Salvation Army Ants! They tried to sell us a vintage picnic basket & a used blanket, then I turned around & saw them marching off with our old couch & TV
I didn't buy any of their merchandise because A. they were too teenie... Plus i didn't want to encourage them... I guess you could say i'm anti ant. :)
March 11th 2010: A hi-pitched “What?!” I wanted to give clown names to my Facebook peeps & found an actual clown name generator. Peter Miller=Pepino Propellerhead, Lilia Illes=Wheezy Illalooza, Jeff Zimmer=Jolly Snicklefritz, Mom=Shirlabubu Red, Meltron Woodhead=Meltron Woodhead... Stephanie Dubick=Itchy Pants McDilly, Chris Badurek=Bobo Badoo, Kevin C. Carr=Jiggle C. Jowls, Logan Cluff=Logapoo Starbright, Dana Daniels=Jughead Q. Floppo, Luigi=Lulu Rubber Parrarado, Teresa Marasek=Toto Marooooni [or Sweet Mamma Huggsy], Carolejean Willis= Pipsqueek Willino
March 10th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: The 5 Freeway was closed Monday when a Swiss Army Truck jackknifed for 2 hrs, since ‘Simon’ was an easier name, Garfunkel Says never caught on, Water Towers in Utah are actually filled with fry sauce & Tim refuses to become apathetic to bad drivers… Safety 3rd people!
March 9th 2010: Odd news day... The Jolly Green Giant has tested positive for miracle grow. Tom Jones was detained at an airport after scanners proved he was illegally transporting a potato & Sony has developed a device that detects lies in a political speech. It's called a "digital recorder".
March 8th 2010: Academy Awards… I saw someone wearing Lady Gagas couch. Oh goody! Lots of stairs again... I’m a big fan of clown stunts. Charlize Theron made me glad Dior doesn’t design trousers… & Ben stiller… funny, I didn’t know he was bluwish.
