April 19th 2010: What a weekend... worked as a Cirque Du Valet parking unicycles, rolling globes & clown cars. Then i went to a health food fair, ya gotta try the deep fried Lipitor pills on a stick... & finally saw a giraffe ballet at the zoo… why the toe shoes?
[Tiny Deep Fried Lipitor pills/capsules on a stick? That's hysterical. Like tiny vienna corn dogs... you are a genius!]
April 16th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: Last week I performed at a hillbilly carnival just behind their ride ‘Tunnel of Cousins’, Does Scotland boast of having Bagpipe Child Prodigy’s? And there’s a new helpline for Lazy Eye, “For 1, press 3. To press 3, press 8. If you’d like 8, press 5 . . .”
April 15th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: the fiercest known dictator was a man named Simon Says, Brett Favre will join the next Dancing with the Stavres, Brett Favre declines the next Dancing with the Stavres, My dad has developed a trouser murmur, Brett Favre has said yes…
April 14th 2010: Baseball season’s here… I only go on the free swag nights… & not just the toy bat night… there’s Free Hair Graft night, I-pad night… so I can watch something else & Spiked Helmet night so I can kill as many ill willed beach balls as I can.
April 13th 2010: Yesterday was an odd day… my brother called & said he’s been replaced by an app. Then I saw a lazy Shadow puppeteer just hold up small animals to a light & lastly i attended a house party in a motor home & ended up in Albuquerque.
April 12th 2010: What a weekend... went to a Who’s Who for accordion… what a lovely feller, saw a mime with a bullhorn perform at a senior home & sat on a barstool next to a rubber ducky drinking bathtub gin.
April 9th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: Red Bull needs a little Popeye song to play after you pull the tab. Why didn't they have Buzz Aldrin dance the orange TANG-O? [Sigh] My Brother failed out of Crash Test Dummy school… So apparently he’s now a Crash Test Genius?
April 8th 2010: Odd news day, a new Pleather Bar has just opened for Gay Vegans, Lay offs begin today at the giant Foam Hand Corp… there’s been a lot of finger pointing & Donald Trump’s hair just got it’s own show on animal planet
April 7th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Rapper Flavor flav’s lesser known brother, Riboflavin Flavin, performs wearing a potato clock, Chinese troll’s practice fungi shui, an off-Broadway play “Feral Cats" is auditioning Tourette actors… must be spontaneous & Timothy is an ambitious comic
April 6th 2010: Seriously?! Milk duds? What genius pitched the name 'duds'? "Milk pizzazz... no, milk Hoo ah!... no, Milk Duds… wait a minute?!" & have you seen the stampede the word 'Snacks' creates? Linoleum Snack Bites… MM mm, Aisle 7! A Yoko Ono Medley? Isn’t that just a single? Seriously?
