July 12th 2010: What a weekend… Played ‘Dress’ poker in a nudist colony, I bought a handicap slinky that rolls down ramps, saw a worker bee wearing a dress… Is that why they call it cross pollinating? And i won a trip for 2 to Hawaii… does that mean I get to go twice?!
July 9th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps… it’s going to happen people, untanning booths & spray on pale for vampire wannabe’s. Did you know that most master clowns hail from Chuckleslovakia? Hey... want kids to eat more veggies? Offer them a plate full of broccoli… free toy inside!
July 8th 2010: Answering some unasked questions … My hat size is 2 because I am a born pinhead, Mr. Ed was discovered because as a colt he was very chatty & yes, Oscar Mayer now has a hybrid wiener mobile made with a giant tofu Dog.
July 7th 2010: Only 1 of these is a real invention… a cell phone pole, a Chihuahua Ritalin patch, a Baby belly button snooze option, a death bed mattress store or the light bulb.
July 6th 2010: I had a quiet 4th.. I started with Rice Krispi’s using 2% milk & only got 2 crackles & 1 pop, then I went to an amateur BQ for an eyebrow burn off & then left to spend a quiet evening at a mime dinner party but got kicked out for wearing a loud tie
July 3rd 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: Who was the tough guy who got that whoop ass into the can in the 1st place?! Are there photos of celebrities at the border of New Dehli? "Psychic…" "Who’s there?"… "Knock knock."
July 2nd 2010: Only 1 of these is true… Early clown pioneers headed West in covered unicycles, the cryogenics Lab still has tickets for this year’s Disney On Ice, the guitar case was originally designed as a suitcase for long turtle neck sweaters & Tim believes he knows the answer to 'America got Talent?'… No.
July 1st 2010: Some random spitballin’… Yesterday I had to apologize for looking at a midget thru binoculars… but they always seem so far away… So if hindsight is 20-20, then for Kim Kardasian it’s 20 - 60? Is a baked bean bag chair comfort food? A bed of lettuce... not so much.
June 29th 2010: What a weekend… I tried a ‘MAGIC’ energy drink… the side effect list warned of levitation… I saw a cloud in the shape of a dollar sign & wondered if it were a stimulus cloud & I combined my double filled Oreos to make a triple filled Oreo. Sweeeeeeet!
June 28th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Public Transportation workers will change the Ped Xing lights to blink “Walk” & “Whatever!” Hasbro has a new Hybrid slinky that rides elevators, a new KFP, the 1st fast food for cannibals, opened in Africa, & Tim is at a loss for
