Oct. 22nd 2010: Only 1 of these is true… On a new Face Book for dogs all their friends profile photos are dog heiny’s, ET was a prolific finger painter, a new airline, 'Ground Blue' will now taxi to your entire destination & Tommy Tune once tapped on my shoulder
Oct. 21st 2010: Seriously? What's the criteria for buying a good leaf blower? Just strong enough to blow leaves to someone else’s yard? At the least, can’t we send flyswatters to hungry children in Africa? Global Warming? My Snow Globe still has snow… Seriously?!
Oct. 19th 2010: What’s next? Lee press-on Abs? 3-d crayons? A plastic pet ‘cube’ for lazy Hamsters? A Walrus Clock where on the hour every hour a Walrus comes out & Coo Coo Ca-choos! A packet of Chocolate Orange Tree seeds…
Oct. 18th 2010: What a weekend… I perform for a group of Dog Trainers… Afterwards they put their check on my nose… “Stay, stay…" I perform for them annually… which is 7x a year. I’m glad I got the gig, but having the booking agent sniff my backside was unnecessary.
Oct. 15th 2010: Timothy ‘s Weekend Scraps: Before going on vacation, check under your porch for Feral cat burglars. Shouldn’t a ‘Tell All' book have a foreword, fiveword & even sixword? If you dangle your legs off a pier, beware the reflex hammerhead shark!
October 14th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: The factory that makes “You Are Here” signs uses a different P.O. Box, The Wild Animal Park has downsized to just a drive up clown making Wild Animal Balloons & Pinocchio loves poker but has a ‘tell’ when bluffing.
Oct. 13th 2010: It’s absurd Wednesday! What is paisley really? Is it paramecia in a clown suit? In the toy store is anyone else afraid to remove a box of jenga from the display stack? "Ooooh, if you’re surreal & you know it clap your nose… "
Oct. 12th 2010: What’s next? A Gall Bladder removal app? Botox for Basset Hounds? Rose flavored Red Bull so you don't have to stop to smell the Roses? George Foreman Defibrillator paddles to fry your Monte Cristo on?
Oct. 11th 2010: What a weekend, performed an encore show for a toothpaste co… you can always squeeze a lil more out of those folks, performed for a group of ‘Lil people’… I think I got a standing O… & did a show for free-range farmers… they sat scattered in open seating.
Oct. 8th 2010: Timothy ‘s Weekend Scraps: I’m proud to be a Marxist… Zeppo was my favorite. Beware any watercrest from Mexico… don’t drink the salad! So… what do the Amish do when they go ‘green’? Buy twisty Halogen candles? [They're scraps people!]
