Nov. 6th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Al Gore has endorsed drilling for solar power on the sun, a ‘Dachshund Mix' is actually part dog, part Nabisco & the Wisconsin Philharmonic actually has a string cheese section.
Nov. 6th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Al Gore has endorsed drilling for solar power on the sun, a ‘Dachshund Mix' is actually part dog, part Nabisco & the Wisconsin Philharmonic actually has a string cheese section.
Nov. 5th 2010: Seriously?! Stewardess… I don’t need a demo for my seat belt. How about a demo for tying a double Winsor in my tie or folding animal balloons? Racecar sponsors… advertise on slower cars… wouldn’t it be easier to read? Glue sticks? In my day we had to eat paste out of the jar! Seriously!
Nov. 4th 2010: What Timothy learned this political season… If you vote for Chris Coons you will turn into a frog, Prop 19 might not pass due to all the rolled & smoked ballots, you don't have to be right… just loud & don't ask, don't tell refers to a republican in Hollywood.
Nov. 3rd 2010: What a weekend… Did a show in the leaning tower of Pisa… I got a standing italic O, worked an Identity Theft convention… folks wore 6 different name tags & my show for Aquatic Pets Inc. had a small turnout… sadly many of the stores have gone belly up.
Oct. 30th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: Is Steve Hawking selling real estate? I just saw this sign ‘Bent Space for Rent'. The key to this economy is being clever... 1 club is advertising ‘Karaoke Unplugged’ & being tech savvy is swell but you shouldn’t put your smoke alarms on vibrate.
Oct. 29th 2010: Only 1 of these is true… the headstone for the pinball machine inventor reads 'Tilt'. Marceau Marceau's secret? He used THX silence. A doorknob at USC actually earned a diploma… not so dumb after all & like Jersey Shore’s, "The Situation", I’ve nicknamed mine "Dire."
Oct. 28th 2010: Timothy is looking for work… the unemployment office called, "There’s an opening for a crab fisherman… how’s that grab you?" I saw a job offer in a plastic utensils warehouse… 'Must be able to drive a sporklift' & Spaghetti O’s is looking for a proofreader... with zero mistakes!
Oct. 27th 2010: What’s next? Recumbent electric chairs? Naval Lint Trays? Camera's that SUBTRACT ten pounds? TV's that turn off viewers? Oh wait, we already have that… it’s called The View… buttoned! fastened! um no... oh yeah, Snap!
Oct. 26th 2010: What a weekend… performed for a polygamist group… “Good evening Ladies & Sir...” performed for computer experts… ugh! I hate kid shows & I did a show for a Dutch group… I got 150 checks.
Oct. 23rd 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: I bought a ‘Best of Vanilla Ice’ CD… It was a single. Went to a dance & the band only played Pachelbel Canon… Y’know why? It was a Canon ball. A fire truck raced by with lights glaring but no sound… I guess it was on vibrate? Canon Ball!