Dec. 14th 2010: Seriously?! I swear I saw an ad for ‘Giant Cupcakes?’ Um… isn’t that a cake?! Shouldn’t I be able to pay for Soup De Jour with a jar of odd buttons & coins? And the food at Hooters is terrible… so why is it so popular? Seriously?!
Dec. 14th 2010: Seriously?! I swear I saw an ad for ‘Giant Cupcakes?’ Um… isn’t that a cake?! Shouldn’t I be able to pay for Soup De Jour with a jar of odd buttons & coins? And the food at Hooters is terrible… so why is it so popular? Seriously?!
Dec. 13th 2010: What a weekend… I went to a memorial for my mob boss uncle… it was an open car trunk funeral. I went to a Japanese rodeo… I thought the rodeo kabuki’s were misunderstood & scarier than the bulls & I performed some magic for a sweater vest company… “Nothing up my armpits...”
Dec. 10th 2010: Timothy‘s Weekend Scraps: What if Simon Says… be original! I noticed how only serious pee wee golfers wear plaid... [Is there a PPWGA?] Out of the blue a psychic began blurting out obscenities at me… Then I noticed in front of her were turret cards
Dec. 9th 2010: What’s next? Cell Phones with FRONT view mirrors? Splenda Pixie Sticks? The Police Feline Unit? Nicogum Salmon? Seedless Sesame buns?
Dec. 8th 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Rock legend Meatloaf had a grandpa who was a blues singer named Jamaican Jerk Chicken. Harpo Marx’s company name was Oprah. Walking Sticks are near extinction because every time they procreate they burst into flames & Tim can’t stop prancing whenever he hears ‘Sleigh Ride’
Dec. 7th 2010: Seriously? The NFL has a penalty for tripping? You can put a helmet in their back, knock ‘em out, clothesline them but you can’t bring them down with a tricky foot? Sweater vests? What happens to all the sleeves? Is it coming next summer? The ‘Just Sweater Sleeves’ fad? Seriously?!
Dec. 6th 2010: What a weekend… I offended a Mob Boss at a mafia roast which was redundant since their noses are always out of joint, I called a Square Dance at a party for TSA workers but everyone was afraid to grab their partner & I won a wet T-shirt contest… at a local Laundromatt.
Dec. 3rd 2010: Timothy?'s Weekend Scraps: The Trans-Siberian Orchestra… are they a don’t ask don’t tell orchestra? Well it was only $1... but is a Xmas frosted windshield safe? And hey… where are all the rabbis in the malls during this Chanukah season?
Dec. 2nd 2010: Seriously?! Why does the express lane at Ralphs move so slow? I want to see jittery people buying instant cereals, laxatives & red bull. “Do you need help to your car?” “Yes… but Sprint peppi!” How about 1 item or less!!! Seriously?!!!
Dec. 1st 2010: Only 1 of these is true: Archeologists have uncovered Moses 11th stone tablet & believe it’s a Disclaimer tablet, Smokey the Bear’s sister, Snooky the Bear, hibernates around, [If you know what I mean] & to all my Jewish Peeps, Happy Chaka Khan.