May 10th 2011: Ring Ring Ring…. Ring Ring Ring… "I find a file clerk with long nails ironic." [Click] Just phoning it in today.
May 10th 2011: Ring Ring Ring…. Ring Ring Ring… "I find a file clerk with long nails ironic." [Click] Just phoning it in today.
May 9th 2011: I grew up on a farm next to the poor house. We raised Lint Sheep, made butter from ‘I Can’t Believe they're Not Cows’ & hired clowns instead of migrant workers to help harvest our mashed potatoes.
May 6th 2011: [My process] … A turtle has great abs, yet can die from doing just 1 sit up. & wow... how much more does a pig have to pig out to become a potbelly pig? Is it extreme piggying? And how lucky! Another Twinkie please! Maybe that’s the superhero for me… Potbelly Man! [Ta da!]
May 5th 2011: So for his birthday, I got a mime friend a conversation piece… Yes, it was a gag gift. So now he’s mad & calls & leaves me these silent messages... but the laughs on him because I just let it go to voice mail. Gotcha again!
May 4th 2011: I feel a little dirty. There was a little rip on my ‘Flesh’ color crayon wrapper so I took a peek. Where does the lyre go on a champagne flute? Does an Acrobats hand ever fall asleep? Currently I’m staying at a 5 Asterisk hotel… there’s something they’re not telling me.
May 3rd 2011: My bad, I assumed a teen didn’t know who Chaplin was so she turned & showed me her tramp stamp. Egads the Magic Castle is getting so pricy; you have to pay thru the nose, behind the ears & sometimes through an orange to get in. I heard a gal say ‘Strapless’ dress… did she mean Wifi?
May 2nd 2011: I failed my test for a poetic license… the multiple choice was A: Orange, B: Silver, C: Month or D: Purple. Few knew that Achilles also had bad knees. The same guy keeps calling me about lowering my interest rates. Is Steve Hawkings now a telemarketer?
April 29th 2011: I was down on Rodeo Drive yesterday shopping at the $99 store…I used to work as a Rodeo clown… I’d distract the wild panhandlers from accosting the patrons. I also rode around in a chauffeur driven unicycle.
April 28th 2011: Why can’t I look good fat? “Hey you look good… lose weight?” This weekend is the ‘Laugh-in’ Marathon” … I can’t wait to run 26 miles with Joanne Whirly. Why didn't Disney show ‘Tron’ in stadiums? Hellooo! Jumbo Tron?!
April 27th 2011: Music today seems to be a seductive karaoke for awkward mating rituals. Ah I yearn for the days when I’d knock boots to Spike Jones & end up on my front yard via a greased slip n slide & landing head 1st in a bathtub of oatmeal while firing a starter pistol.