June 6th 2011: Rules for glass bottom boat tours: No kleats... Don’t make faces at the fish... If you spill a drink please mop it up with Windex... & No Jewish Weddings
June 6th 2011: Rules for glass bottom boat tours: No kleats... Don’t make faces at the fish... If you spill a drink please mop it up with Windex... & No Jewish Weddings
June 2nd 2011: Is eating a potato bug still considered a vegetable? [& of course I mean a baked potato bug wrapped in tin foil] "No, i'm not with child, i'm with crispy crèmes!". OK, so it’s been about a week since the Rapture… should I unpack my hand basket?
Do aadrvarks prefer potato bugs or stove top stuffing bugs. Are there yambugs.
May 31st 2011: [Twit] Have you been to the Bel Air Aquarium? Not so good… it's hard to see the fish through their tinted glass tanks... & the Bel Air library... get this... they don't deliver!
May 28th 2011: [Twit] I've got the fix to our health care crisis…. we convert our National religion to Christian Science. Done. Next issue please...
May 28th 2011: OK, fine... the vet is an hr late… but to my dog that's 7 hrs! Apparently I snore loud… At 5 AM the garbage man came to my door & asked, “Could you keep it down, people are trying to collect trash”. & good news, I was voted president of my mime club by the silent majority.
May 27th 2011: So JLO shakes her money maker [Thank goodness I have wide screen TV] & that’s genius? That Shakira’s too smart for me. [Sigh] For my next show I’ll gyrate while telling a few jokes… The only thing the show was missing was a hand basket.
May 25th 2011: Are the results of having a sweet tooth a bucked belly? Is it possible that Bobby Fischer had a checkered past? Wow, just got a rat’s patooty on EBay… so I don’t need any of yours, thanx! & folks, don’t lecture me on my short attention span, just send me a sound bite!
May 24th 2011: [Twit] A friend invited me to fly on his single engine plane… Fun, but I thought the strip search was uncalled for...
May 24th 2011: I went to a used pet store… purebred or not, they still need love. They had a 'OK Dane', a 'Dis-A-Pointer', a 'Carob Lab', a 'Cocktail Weiner Dog', a 'Mexican hair transplant' & a 'Plus Size' [Husky]. I did not leave empty handed… I got a fish.