July 28th 2011: Soap on the rope no more! I want Wifi Soap! Y’know… I was a Cesarean baby… I still don’t know how the stork survived it. My new vocation is thriving... I fill my juggling bean bags w jumping beans & have them busk on weekends. $$$$$
July 28th 2011: Soap on the rope no more! I want Wifi Soap! Y’know… I was a Cesarean baby… I still don’t know how the stork survived it. My new vocation is thriving... I fill my juggling bean bags w jumping beans & have them busk on weekends. $$$$$
July 27th 2011: Sounds like an obvious project but has anyone written the Opera “Winfrey?” Sadly, I watched a clown pop so many of his animal balloons I had to report him to PETA. Say, are smoked salmon smaller since smoking stunts their growth?
July 26th 2011: Some cats are just evil. Is yours? Have you found a bird head in your bed? Does Kitty make nooses out of balls of yarn? Do you open cat food manually fearing the can opener might explode? Has your sofa been riddle with bullets & all that's left is a whiff of catnip?
July 22nd 2011: Met a guy at Starbucks who thot he was a cup of coffee… “Vanilla Latte!” “Yep! That’s me!” I got arrested once in Mexico... i still have the mug shot on black velvet. Dabnabbit! I think I got gypped. The Ford Focus I bought is Low Def…
July 21st 2011: How do people tell time by looking at the sun? I’ve never been able to make out the numbers w-out burning my retinas. I think I actually heard an ice cream truck playing lady Gaga... Pa-Pa Papaya-Icee. Hmmm Do you think Andy Rooney does literally Mop his Brow?
July 20th 2011: Tuff times? Let’s replace “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” w “Who Wants To Eat” & give away giant Game Show size Food Stamps. After Einstein got his Nobel Prize did he make the shape of a brain w his hands? & when will the Spice Girls headline at Scarborough Fair?
July 19th 2011: Giant dust storm hits Phoenix again?! Help Wanted, 1000 French maids w feather dusters. My Mime pal is angry w me… he’s giving me the noisy treatment. Egads! Did I accidentally buy a multiplication table? So far I have 16 new tables.
July 11th 2011: Busy weekend. I used a “Furniture Repair for Dummies” book to wedge my wobbly table, I recognized a prank phone caller on Skype. And sad news… apparently Mr. Potato Head has been having an affair with someone named Julienne