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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 12th 2011: I was asked to work blue at a midnight show… so I sang, "Since my baby lef' me…" Scientists say many pacifist Killer bees are now migrating to Canada. Is Kenny G following in the footsteps of his dad, Kenny F?

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 11th 2011: Sometimes names can be unfair or perplexing… Harmonica Smith? What if he didn’t play harmonica? Ukulele Ike? Really unlucky! Oboe Ike? luckier! Yo Yo Ma? He had the courage to break tradition & learn cello. Paddle Ball Ma? Not so courageous

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 10th 2011: Egads! I almost clicked on an ad in craigslist for a curvy chubby burlesque comic… What was I thinking… I’m no comic. You know you’re getting old when getting out of a chair counts as exercise & you start growing handlebar eyebrows… in 1 day?!

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 9th 2011: I wish Highlights magazine would’ve opened an amusement park. I would’ve loved to wander thru the forest of hidden things, met Goofus & Gallant & finally enter the door of doom w ride operators dressed as dentist loading you onto a molar coaster

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 7th 2011: If a mime was really stuck in a real glass box, would you A: Go 4 ice cream or B: see a movie? Accordion players perform the best Heimlich maneuver. And yes, it helps if she's a Lady From Spain. I’m removing some folks from my friends lists today… good luck.

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 5th 2011: Worst GPS ever, today she told me to go to hell… even mapped it out. It ends at Charlie Sheen’s house. I was going to open a Free Range Senior Home program but Appleby’s already has 1 every day at 4. & does Capt. America just laugh at Capt. France? Probably chases him all the way to Capt. Canada

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 4th 2011: If you have to go to an Opera, make sure you tip the usher so you can sit in the lobby. I love going to the pet store just to mock turtle necks, If you believe in telepathy, then make me stop wri-

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09 Nov, 2011

Aug. 2nd 2011: Cut backs on welfare? So along with food stamps you'll get fasting stamps? Met a Buddhist Midget… said he is “One with Barstow”. I saw a turtle with a very shiny shell… I couldn’t help but to think, ‘People wax?’

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09 Nov, 2011

July 30th 2011: Lady GAGA removed her green wig & omigosh! It was Andy Kaufman. Why is Disneyland getting so pricy?! I’m tired of paying through Pinocchio’s nose. Sunday, i’m performing in Paris, Calif. They love Jerry Lee Lewis down there.

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09 Nov, 2011

July 29th 2011: Hmmm… I played a George Winston CD backwards & heard Marvin Hamlisch. Yum! Dr. Pepper… finally the taste of Worchester Sauce in a soft drink. And, if a Siamese Twin becomes Buddhist... are they each ½ with nature?

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