Aug. 26th 2011: For most, the range of an accordion is about... 200 ft. But not me… I play a free range accordion. Just read Richard Simmons has skipping pneumonia. And I saw Mr. Peanut leaving the dentist... what a numb nut.
Aug. 26th 2011: For most, the range of an accordion is about... 200 ft. But not me… I play a free range accordion. Just read Richard Simmons has skipping pneumonia. And I saw Mr. Peanut leaving the dentist... what a numb nut.
Aug. 25th 2011: Oh boy! Yum! New edible silica… with that fresh product flavor… finally! My niece & nephew were visiting last night so I rented Malcom PG instead of Malcom X. I just placed a Garden Gnome Crosby next to my pink tarnations. [Where is tarnations?]
Aug. 24th 2011: Am I the only one who gets excited when I stump spell check? Salmon color shirt? No it’s Bass. And on this date in 1854 the YMCA was established by a very happy Sheriff, Road Laborer, Pirate & Indian Chief.
Aug. 23rd 2011: Ah the Children’s Zoo… It really is the best place to keep them. Is it true? Optimist Prime is in rehab after being strung out on Lithium batteries? & in sports… Arm Wrestling champ Ben Tellbo tested positive today for joy buzzer.
Aug. 21st 2011: Went to a Clown Gym this weekend… they had a Squeaky Stair Master, a Stationary Unicycle, a BoBo flex & a Rolling Medicine Globe… it was my first time but falling on your face was mandatory. -Don't forget to try the Mineral Seltzer Water!
Aug. 18th 2011: I’ve given up trying to play the String Cheese. [Insert DIY cheese pun here] The Wildebeest has been declared endangered… this could be trouble for Donald Trump’s hair. "Handicap toilet?!!" Just say the toilet doesn’t flush yeesh!
Aug. 17th 2011: Rogue shark? Are there sharks helping old ladies cross the street? Holding the door open or helping people carry their groceries? Aren’t we their groceries? “Aw... Look at that cute cuddly shark climbing a tree to help that stranded kitty… Gulp!”
Aug. 16th 2011: I think it’s time scientists developed Hug Gaskets… these cuddle quickies are borderline unsanitary. Recently I stayed in a hotel so bad… there were tiny winos hanging outside my mini bar. Shouldn’t the word 'lazy' be spelled Lazzzzzzzzzzzy?
Aug. 13th 2011: 1. So what happens when a moth gets an idea? ZZZZzzzzzzz! 2. Why doesn’t anyone answer the mime hotline? I know they’re there… I can hear them walking against the wind. 3. “On a scale from 1-10lbs?” Carney trying to guess Calista Flockhart’s weight… 4. How nice… I just read where the Electric Chair is now recumbent 5. Bi-Polar Bears don’t procreate right? 6. Would a burrito the size of an actual sleeping bag be considered the ultimate in comfort food?
Aug. 13th 2011: Went 2 school w a mime… so cute how his lunch box would seem to get stuck in midair… EVERY DAMN DAY! Boy, when Thor misses a nail... thats really gotta hurt! It's Crunch weekend… playing twister w 7 Sumos Saturday...