Sept. 25th 2011: Attended my 1st aa meeting…. It’s for folks addicted to the little bottles of airline booze. I was always discouraged to play my Accordion… “Careful, you’ll polka someone’s eye out… ” Hey, when’s Dyson coming out with their flowbee?
Sept. 25th 2011: Attended my 1st aa meeting…. It’s for folks addicted to the little bottles of airline booze. I was always discouraged to play my Accordion… “Careful, you’ll polka someone’s eye out… ” Hey, when’s Dyson coming out with their flowbee?
Sept 22nd 2011: What kind of bait do you use to catch fish sticks? Worm sticks! Thank you, thank you… that took me 3 months… I love technology, I just got an etch-a-sketch w WIFI! My Favorite cable network? EGO…The 24 hour mirror channel. [24/7 Tivo!]
Sept. 21st 2011: This week only, Money... half price! That’s right, you send me a $20 bill & I’ll send you back a crisp $10. bill! Offer expires 2015.
Sept. 21st 2011: The discussion is not over when a deaf person says, “Talk to the Hand”. Just bought coffee imported from the Catskills… Any of you ever heard of Shecky Valdez? Incidentally, did anyone else get a warranty card with their birth certificate? Just me?
Sept. 20th 2011: Beware, the Tourette Opera Company will continue their impromptu performances throughout the city. Monday I auditioned for a musical, “Are you a Baritone?” “No, a Monotone”. & yes, I am a man of many talents. Early on I was deemed 'Lord of the Chicken Dance'…
Sept. 19th 2011: I was born with a lazy 'ear'… which is why I play accordion instead of piano. [& love it!] Incidentally we clowns, quite often, arrive Unfashionably late. If you need a perfectly ripe Honey Dew pls contact me at TheHoneyDewWhisperer.com
Sept. 16th 2011: You are what you eat… which is why I am on a strict diet of cutie pies! According to another new study, we study too much… & FYI… Jugglers juggle life as well, school, job, family… only we use more intricate patterns… [531; 441; 423; etc.]
Sept. 15th 2011: Look, I have a sweet tooth… so how’s about filling that uppity peppermill with chocolate sprinkles? Ugh! I should have ordered the Black-Eyed Peas… my Lazy-Eyed Peas keep rolling off my plate. Illiterate?! You won’t see me callously toss trash on the street.
Sept. 14th 2011: Did you know that fruitcakes haven’t been made since 1955? They’ve all been re-gifted 61x. I lost my part time job at fiery prints… they said they didn’t like my tone. Plus the boss, what’s his face, said I was aloof.