Oct. 11th 2011: Can you get Salmonella from tilapia? [*Salmonella is also a Disney princess] This was freaky, thru a pr of binoculars I read the sign, “You are not here!” & Damn! turns out my ear screeching Yoko Ono download was not a corrupt file. -Y'see because Yoko Ono sings like a feral tourette cat... Cinderella sounds like Salmonella [Tilapia is not salmon?] & If i'm far away... how do the sign know where i am?
Oct. 10th 2011: Today most competitions are rigged. Take for example the Ms Universe pageant… notice all the contestants are from Earth? [& I’ll bet Ms. Mercury is hot!] Bad HMO? Mine gave me a 3rd Aid kit. “Tick Tock?!” What did people say in the days of hourglasses, “Trickle Trickle!”
Oct. 9th 2011: Tim is conTIMplating… Do Hawaiians show up to Barbecue’s in their business suits? Does Mini Me have to ask for wallet size photos? What if a lab rat is a Christian scientist? [Sigh] Time to change the water in my think tank…
Oct. 5th 2011: Do Wind farmers always have a bad hair day? Yesterday i went to Food For Less & bought a can of “Initial Soup”. The inventor of rubber doggy doo… do you think he rubbed everyone’s nose in it… “I did this!”
Oct. 4th 2011: Yes, my cousin flunked out of entomology… but she still thinks I’m the bee's elbows. Wind farms? Do the migrant workers run around flying kites all day? R.E.M. broke up? So it's the end of the group as we know it? -You're all the bee's clavical to me.
Oct. 3rd 2011: I may not be the world's sexiest accordion player but hey, number 9’s not bad. Do you know how to properly pronounce Jalapeño… Yes or ño? Annoying but true, I believe Mayflies buzz 24/1.
Sept. 28th 2011: 1000’s of people claim to juggle life everyday & yet I never see these people at the IJA conventions. If you're going to talk the talk… My Air guitar is getting so good my 6 mime groupies hold up invisible lighters. I removed a raccoon’s mask & learned its secret identity. “Snowball… is that you?!”
Sept. 28th 2011: According to Rich Little, he has been the victim of identity theft… 457 times!
Sept. 27th 2011: There’s nothing more exciting than watching Nascar on TV w maybe the exception… of EVERYTHING!!! Like Rock Guitarists flicking guitar picks, as a Rock Accordionist I throw my earplugs after ea song. & yes, Butterflies are still free… but shipping is $50.75?!
Sept. 26th 2011: My friend just bought an authentic French Poodle. It drinks out of a Bidet, mimes pulling on his leash & surrenders when he sees the mailman come. What wine goes with Kibbles n Bits?
