April 26th 2012: [Bonus]
I recently performed at the Whine Festival… there was just no pleasing them…
If you are ever at the Louvre, order their Hot Rococo. It’s creamy & pastel like & served in a curvy gold mug.
I'm currently working as a musician in a mini bar at the Hampton Inn. Come join me at the harmonica bar.
“I build Darns for a living” - A Religious Beaver
I've always been just a little out of step… during Disco Fever... I only felt Disco Clammy.
April 26th 2012: [Sigh] Time to take down my plastic Earth Day tree… Egads! Miniature Golf at the Wind Farm is near impossible! Oh oh… Someone just tossed Lou Ferrigno an unopened DVD... run people, run!
April 25th 2012: [Bonus]
I opened for the ‘Coasters’ at the House of Blues Monday... I got fired for placing my drink on their heads
The NY Times has endorsed Pres. Obama. The Wall Street Journal has endorsed Romney. Ron Paul is hoping to hear back from Mad magazine.
I met a lady who was so Ugly? Her plastic surgeon must have given her a placebo...
Today in the gym I saw a baby Trout bench pressing 250 lbs! So it’s not true that I’m stronger than a 3 day old trout!
As a Mormon web designer, I proudly use a decaf JavaScript.
April 25th 2012: Oh oh... Went to a reverse psychiatrist... he said I was ok. Rough economy, my Allstate agent just called & said "Use your own hands!" Performed for a group of Font artist… got a standing O serif.
April 19th 2012: [Bonus]
Never pull the finger of an old tuba player
Never trust a guy who tucks his shirt into other peoples pants
I met a tiny feller today who claimed to be an Admiral for a Foot Long Sub.
I think hologram accordion players would be safer, certainly less flesh wounds
April 19th 2012: Making dinner for a clown pal... do they sell spinning Bowtie pasta? Dairy farmers r amazing, but Alligator farmers extracting Gatorade are heroic! [the lil stools alone?!] Whew! Our new Zumba instructor was that dancing windsock man. Somebody unplug the guy!!!
April 18th 2012: [Bonus]
Performed a show for 95 crickets… the worse I got the better they were. Wish it had gone worse.
OK, since someone's got to step up... it was me… I wrote the book of love
My wife makes me wear a child leash when we go to the hardware store
My show went well at the Senior Home… I had to wait about 3 minutes for my standing O…
April 18th 2012: If prepared properly, Bean Bag chairs are the perfect comfort food. I wonder if a pilot has ever had to break into his airport hangar with a car key? When told a sad story I rub my index finger on my big toe & play the worlds smallest Bo fiddle… I’m classically trained.
April 17th 2012: [Bonus]
Remember the fun snack “Cracker Jacks?” Today the politically correct name is Caucasian Jacks.
I think a Vampire singing, “Man in the mirror” Is faking his accountability.
I want to write something thoughtful… does anyone have the font ‘Serious Sans’?
Bad school? We were uninvited after applying to the Natl’ Spelling Gee.
April 17th 2012: I read where they arrested a man last week for clubbing baby Easter seals. Kidding, I don’t read. I swear I heard a chicken singing… 'I've got the moves like Jagger'. When a rancher orders his hay to go, does it come w a plastic pitch fork in the bag?
