Feb 14th 2012: Skinny Jeans? How about skinny spandex?! Whoa! I just saw a turtle with a V-neck… in my mind! Last night my alphabet soup tasted funny… Then I noticed why… the noodle font was comic sans.
Feb 14th 2012: Skinny Jeans? How about skinny spandex?! Whoa! I just saw a turtle with a V-neck… in my mind! Last night my alphabet soup tasted funny… Then I noticed why… the noodle font was comic sans.
Feb 13th 2012: Had a wardrobe malfunction yesterday... one of my abs fell out. Sure, my hips don't lie... but my love handles love to gossip & exaggerate. Friday I turned my smart car into a balloon racer… just blimpin my ride yo.
Feb 10th 2012: Godspeed? I ride a Vespa... hello?! [Add gnat engine sound here] How about a “No Awareness Week” folks? My awareness has peaked. [I'll even pass out the clear ribbons] Saw this sign in a juggling supplies store. “You drop it you, you pass the hat”
Feb 9th 2012: [Bonus]
Playing B-ball with Mob Kids always takes a little longer because they play H.O.R.S.E.H.E.A.D. And the head of 'My lil Pony' in all of your beds & to all a goodnight Mare Xmas! In High School I joined the South African Language Club but eventually i quit… I found it to clicky
Feb 9th 2012: I heard a Clown ridiculing Lady Gaga’s wardrobe? Isn’t that like calling the kettle neon paisley? Did u know that for a short time Oliver Platt worked as a plus-size hat model? Another glitter bomb? Well Glitterdone! What’s next... macaroni & silver paint?
Feb. 8th 2012: If Spiderman comes home late, does his wife wait up with a rolled up magazine? I love Panda Express, who knew Panda meat was so tasty! Gal tying a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue… neat. Gal solving a rubix cube with her tongue… Booyah!!!
Feb 7th 2012: [Bonus]
How do i come up with all my funny? I think to myself, "What would Pauley Shore say... " & then i say the opposite
Feb 7th 2012: Used to have those icky stomach wrinkles called abs. Thx to Botox my belly’s now smooth & round. Don’t follow Lionel Richie’s advice & dance on the ceiling... Ahhh! Ceiling Fan!!!!!!! Spent the morning reminiscing w my memory foam... "Remember when you were just a straw mat?" good timezzzzz
Feb. 6th 2012: [Bonus]
I found a microscopic tape measure… must have fallen out of a Quantum mechanics tool belt.
Feb. 6th 2012: Whew! I broke a toof & almotht didn’t do FathBook today. For several years now, I’ve been addicted to soap… but so far i'm 30 days dirty! Just heard the 2006 song... Fergalicious. Who does that?