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25 Nov, 2008

Nov. 25: Tim is giggling after asking a Costco cashier yesterday to “Super size it” & is now river rafting down the Colorado River in a cherry Fruit Loop.

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21 Nov, 2008

Still Nov. 21 2008

Postings of a peculiar man:

Nov. 21: Timothy is wondering if, while looking into the sky last night & taking in the constellations, if he saw Orion's tool box…

Nov. 20: Timothy is continuing his one-ups-man-ship this year by buying a Thanksgiving Emuturducken

Nov. 19: Timothy is wondering if he may be the victim of I.D. theft but is still searching his alphabet soup to be sure… Oh there's a 'd', never mind.

Nov. 18: Timothy is proud he avoided a tiff with his wife by commenting on her 'purring' instead of her snoring

Nov. 17: Timothy is practicing his circular breathing while playing bullhorn & plans to be loud all day

Nov. 14: Timothy is donning a fencing outfit & going fishing for swordfish today Timothy is angry those chattering wind-up teeth he ordered from a British joke shop came with crooked teeth.. [Below a few retorts] -[On a positive note, if you off set the over bites they actually play Bolero] -What about chattering Aarvark tongues from Aarizona. Chattering Invisaligns from Hollywood & chattering teeth with a hand blocking them from Japan. -Chattering fangs from Transylvania, Chattering tusks from tuskaloosa, chattering grills from the hood

Nov. 13: Timothy is wondering if a melon baller would work on a cubed steak & is pondering drawing a Picasso Rubix Cubism

Nov. 12: Timothy is sorry he fed his pet hamster steroids. If you see his wheel on the freeway, could you tell him to come home?

Nov. 11: Timothy is certain that if emergency vehicles switched to using siren whistles, the world would simply be funnier.

Nov. 10: Timothy is celebrating 34 days coffee free--- ZZZzzzzzzzzz

Nov. 7: Timothy is clearing off his desk effectively with a small fire

Nov. 6: Forget acupuncture, ride a medicated porcupine.

Nov. 5: I believe either candidate will hold true to their promise for universal memory loss for the next 4 years.

Nov. 4: Timothy is bringing surrealism back & walking his darwinian Goldfish [Retorts follow] -Remember this one: Q-How many surrealist dose it take to screw in a light bulb. A-FISH - & remember the topper? "1 to turn the toaster oven on & 55 turtles to say, "Mooo!"

Nov. 3: Has MTV ever done 'Amish Plugged in?

Oct. 31: Timothy is scratching his head, in thought & not in answer to a nagging affliction

Oct. 30: The trouble with a computer crash, is not the rebooting, but surprising imploding airbag that knocks me off my office chair.

Oct. 29: How do they golf in Australia... upside down? Instead of a windmill do they use a rudder?

Oct. 28: [Sigh] Still killing me since 1982...

Oct. 27: After Posting "Didgeridon't": -That's quite the digeridoodad. -Did you know that for a short while Sinatra actually played the digeridoo bee doo bee doo?

Oct. 24: After comment my surrender of coffee, someone asked why & how it was going: - Sit. First a top 5 on why to forgo my coffee vice... which was terrible for gripping tools & various items to file... Ah! Eureka! Has anyone invented the vacuum cleaner yet? "Grip" the word vice is all about grip. -Since the invention of Velcro eyelids… I can stay alert drug-free! -Oh don't get me wrong, I don't drink it, buy I still smoke it! -Kept running for doorways [So much Shaking... the white caps in my coffee made the surf report…dude.] -Being awakened by a giant coffee pot with arms & legs called Zippy Aid, Kool Aids peppy brother… and [That's not a drum roll, that's my heart beat...] -Made my ding ding yippee doodle smaller

FYI... Did you know that Mormons can use the Starbucks handicap parking?

What's it been like? I feel guilty... my mom always told me "Drink your coffee, there are people sleeping in China" I can still circumvent the globe but instead of by foot i now travel by Vespa... and yes it takes a little longer. Vesperado... why don't you come to your senses. Anyway, thank you for your curiosity & concern i am fi-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oct. 23: [Someone advertised they were putting the 'Fun' back in comedy: -Challenge yourself, try to put the fun in fungus, or funeral or fun shway... Strategic Furniture creating a humorous environment

OK... now that we are all caught up, check back mon - fri for more adventures of your favorite surreal explorer. T.

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21 Nov, 2008

Nov. 21 2008 Hmmm... my 1st blog turned out to be unsuccessful...

So, here's my newest idea... 1st, the derivitive skinny... i joined 'Facebook' about 2 weeks ago. I made a pact wif myself to write a surreal blurb each day. Well, with such major success, i decided to spread the joy here. So below is the history of my 2 week departure from reality & the welcoming remarks from the mayor of Wackochusetts! Enjoy these illogical sound bytes daily!

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15 Oct, 2008

Hmmmm how do i start... i know, i'll begin with a Duraflame Blog.

It's Oct. 15, 2008. I've been struck wif an idea. & since my ideas are illuminated with a hallogen bulb, these ideas should last longer. It seems as if everyone & their pet guppy seems to have created a blog... [Truly... Squiggles the Guppy has a blog... sure it's an endless string of glub glub glub... but hey, i'm sure it's riveting repartee to other guppies]

At any rate here's my angle. [Tilt your head the way you do when you bite a taco] Let us begin...

Step #1: Several times a week i'd like to come here, state my latest drawing, art concept or fan suggestion & upload the illustrated idea in line art form.

Step #2: After a few days i will upload the illustration as a greyscale image & if all goes well...

step #3: A few days later I will upload the final draft. I love the process. I am also quite tired of remaining a secret & would be thrilled if the word of my work & my art got out more. I love the discussions & answers to my various artistic ventures & i especially love the challenges of others.... So let's go. I will begin tomorrow with my first entry, hope you'll enjoy your visits to Uncle Tim's Blog Cabin... But for now, GET!!!!

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