30 March, 2008

I hate ungrateful people

I pay for my mothers plane ticket (she is supposed to reimburse me half) to Michigan to visit family for a week of her Easter break... I stayed with the animals and worked. During that time I take to doing several projects around the house that never seem to get done, such as patching holes in several walls, worst on the living room. Most of the damage was from my brother. I also install undercabinet 'task' lights in the kitchen and touch up paint trims and doors all throughout the house.

She gets home and firstly complains about the holes I had to put into the far back, bottom of the cabinet to install the lights.. they are too big. Then she over the next few days complains about the imperfect patch job I did on the walls in the living room. They were long holes that I had to put a mesh plaster tape over and then build up and allow to dry over a couple days and then repeatly sand down and paint. I am no professional at this but I did a pretty good job of patching the holes and texturing the paint to as best I could both match the faded almond color and texture of the wall.

Then tonight she takes some sand paper and sands down and then replasters my work... and wonders why I am furious. I worked on that wall for several days and because it isn't absolutely perfect she destroys what I did in the beleif that she can do a better job. Nothing I do is ever good enough..... And to think I was proud of all the work I did on the couple days off during the time she was gone, I worked the rest of the time and spent a few hours each night working on things in the house.



Linda Eades Blackburn 30 Mar 2008

There is just no pleasing some people. Don't waste your time trying. It will only cause you more pain. Try to accept your Mother for who she is and don't expect her to change. That way, you won't continue to be disappointed.

She is what she is.

Be content in knowing that you are a good and caring person.

Anneke Hut 31 Mar 2008

I'm sorry for you, Sarah. You must have been looking forward to her return and was expecting a happy reaction, instead you got this. I can imagine, that you were disappointed.

Thom Roslan 31 Mar 2008

I got the same reaction ALL my life from BOTH of my parents.....Never just quite good enough! My dad has passed on, but the last words he spoke to me was: " Is that all you got?".....referring to me selling their house so Mom could move down "nearer" to him in the Convalescent Hospital, where he passed away.

Now, Mom is 93 and I am her "executor" of her Will & Living Trust, and I STILL can't please her. After getting both her eyes fixed (cataracts), fixing about 4 other ailments and moving her into a "beautiful Mobile Home (double wide) and getting help for her to clean etc., she still can find fault with me. My cooking her recipe dishes, never ADD up to her expectations.....Nothing I can do ......helps her.....So, Sarah-Lynn.....ALL I can say is: "GRIN & BEAR IT".....for they NEVER Change!

Keep your "spirit".........

joan warburton 31 Mar 2008

I had a mother like that. She was an angry person and died angry. It will make you stronger.

Let it go, if you can. :)

Cynthia Adams 31 Mar 2008

Ingratitude is something I cannot abide in people...always expecting blood and if you don't bleed they are unsatisfied...I wouldn't do anything anymore for any of them...you try your best and get trodded on.. Sarah...ask for your half of the fare you are owed...you shouldn't have to but just be blunt and say "Money please"! Please don't allow anyone to trample all over you...the more they do the more they grind you down....! When people moan about the "Younger Generation",they should take a really good look at the parents before judging...!!

joan warburton 31 Mar 2008

I've found that truly nice people get nicer as they get older even if they've gone through some "mean, nasty" years.

People who are deep, down nasty inside get worse as they get older. Their hearts turn to grizzle and there's nothing you can do to change it.

My mother's last words to me, Thom, were a reprimand and dismissal.

Gayla Drummond 31 Mar 2008

Hey, Sarah, I'll give you loads of appreciation if you wanna come help add on our new room here. =)

As for your mom, well...there's already been a lot of good advice on that from those above me.

You are a good person, doing all that for her. I've been there, helped out a few people, and they crapped all over me for it, so I can empathize. =/


Joanna Jungjohann 31 Mar 2008

times like this call for divine intervention, and true patience good luck with mom.

Anneke Hut 31 Mar 2008

When I read all these stories, I feel so blessed. I've got the sweetest mom in the world. I do so hope that things will be good for you too in future, Sarah. You are a wonderful daughter, every mother should be proud of you!!

Judy Minderman 31 Mar 2008

Hi Sarah, Well, so sorry to hear this, family can be hard at times. I cannot add much to what is already said. Some people are just bitter and angry at times. Best you can do for yourself is try to let it go..I know it is hard but it is only you that is hurting here. I cannot relate as my mom was the sweetest and I lost her so many years ago. I can sorta relate as I had an aunt who was never happy it seemed as I had to help her out a lot she was ill but very demanding! Hard to understand human nature, why people are the way they are? Know inside that you know you did a good job and you did a kind thing helping out! Try to let it go, it will only make you feel ill inside, take care, big hugs!

Gavin North 31 Mar 2008

Dear Sarah.

I am a true believer in "YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS BUT YOU CAN"T PICK YOUR FAMILY". I know what it's like and my heart goes out to you. I learnt a long time ago that, sometimes, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, there is no pleasing some people and that family will always take you for granted. So now I always put myself first because you should be the most important person in your life.

I hope this week brings great things for you,

Really Big Hugs


Terry Harris 31 Mar 2008

Sarah, some people just cannot say thank you. Some will find fault to build themselves up as they have such a low self esteem or happy life. Sometimes their bitterness makes they this way. Some are bitter because it's easier to be so and stay negative than to let themselves be open and vulnerable. She sounds like a mix and obsessive as well. Perhaps it's her way of trying to get you to be around more, , even though it would really make you want to stay away. Many that are like this don't ever realize they are coming across the way they are, they would be in total denial if told they were. Some are jealous of you and will try to tear down the good you do for them. Sometimes it's the way they were raised or perceived they were. Perhaps she was embarrassed that you did the work and noticed the problems, so she went defencive about it.

It's sad to me that so many are like this. Yet, it's wonderful that you try to help her out. I personally thank you for it, you did the right thing, out of pure motives even if she did not appreciate it. Shake her words off and feel proud anyway. Even the times that you had like this will be treasured one day when she passes on. One day you might relate the story as a humorous one, but it will make you a stronger person. Like Gavin says, you cant pick your relatives. I'd like to add to that. You can try to hide from them or limit times around them. They are losing out on a terrific person and times they could have enjoyed life. Cyberhugs to you. I would have been thrilled and proud of you if you were one of my daughters.

Sarah-Lynn Brown 31 Mar 2008

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone. You all make me feel a lot better and far less lonely to vent. Thank you.

I was kinda wondering if it was me. I was feeling guilty for a bit because I had bought paint and tools to repaint the house, the job I did 10 years ago is really starting to split and flake. But with her attitude I might as well take the paint back and spend the money on someone else.

Martha Miller 31 Mar 2008

Sometimes people can not show affection or say thank you. You really need lots of love in your heart to share it with others.She still loves you Sarah.

Chas Sinklier 31 Mar 2008

Statistically speaking - all of you will end up just like your parents... unless you do what I did ~:0)

Lisa Weber 01 Apr 2008

Remind MOM that she is geting older and the fact remains that it will be up to you which retirement home she'll be staying in.... "The nice one which is clean and safe or the one where the staff beats them behind closed doors and rarely feeds them!"

That gotta shut her up! LOL