On Halloween and Christmas, I build villages using my diecast car collection, peculiar cast of characters, buildings that range from the local pet shop to the Macabre Movie Theatre and many more great and historic buildings like Saint Nicholas Church named after the great Saint that we refer to as Santa Claus. If you want to catch up on the plot of last season’s internet soap opera, you can see the drama that occurred in Snowville when Florence, the 50 foot woman from the cult movie of the 50’s The Attack of the 50 foot woman comes to town from where she lives in the North Pole after Mrs. Claus suspects that Santa is literally “monkeying" around” with the bathing beauty and other beautiful women that he visits in the night after entering their homes through the chimney. He is worse than the pool boy and takes advantage of women who still believe in Santa Claus and are as desperate for attention as the women in Desperate Housewives. Over the course of the season, many people showed up from the North Pole including Florence’s family, her sisters Peggy Sue, Turleen and her brother Jerwayne from the Pink Flamingo trailer park. Later in the season their mother Gertrude and father Bubba who is of normal size although his wife is 80 feet and their children are gigantic in comparison to the town folk of a quaint conventional village that has never seen such a motley crew. Everyone in Snowville and Chillyville suspect that Santa is an imposter based on his many affairs that Mrs. Claus learns about when she reads her best friend Florence’s letters about his infidelity and lack of values. When Mrs. Claus comes to town she confronts her husband and all hell breaks loose with this wild family. The market cannot keep the small liquor store filled with generic beer, cigarettes, spam and oleo that is the favorite menu for those living at the trailer park. They are proud of Peggy Sue whose companion is a pig that for three years won the ugliest pig contest at the town carnival. Most importantly Peggy Sue is the only family member that graduated from the third grade and is not ashamed to say that her “daddy is the best kisser in the county.” Her sister Turleen is pregnant with her third child and has brought her infant son to Snowville. She has been married three times and still has the same in-laws. Since she never made it to the third grade like her sister Peggy Sue she thinks that the word Iraq refers to a women with large breasts. She had to leave the Pink Flamingo trailer park and join her sister Florence after she lit a match in her bathroom and her home exploded right off its wheels. She hopes to complete her elementary school education after dropping out to raise her first child. Her family is proud of her ambition to improve herself by continuing her education, especially after alaming her sister that she thought the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are “gentleman, start your engines? She has come to the village with her father Bubba who is the disc jockey of the North Pole and resists playing Holiday songs except for his favorites Jingle Smells, Silent But Deadly Night, Oh Gassy Tree, Sugarplum Farties and Auld Gas Sine that among other festive tunes can be purchased at www.pullmyfinger.com. Their mother and grandmother who are witches at the North Pole are also visiting the village to control their redneck children with their spells. Anyone can improve his or her life if motivated to do so. This was the case with Jerwayne’s girlfriend Honey who set the bar higher for herself and moved out of the trailer park two years ago to follow her dream to be a lounge singer in Las Vegas breaking Jerwayne’s heart since both shared the same dream of having an Elvis Wedding. Honey outgrew Jerwayne and no longer found his classic mullet haircut that he has worn since the second grade attractive. She was tired of his idea that an exciting day was relaxing on the couch and watching the 24-hour bass fishing marathon on TV. I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he told Honey that he thought microchips are snacks enjoyed with cheese dip while watching the local monster truck rally and describing high definition as that happy feeling you get after drinking two cases of beer. Although many residents at the Flamingo trailer park are happy with their life that might seem sad to others. Honey was not happy with her life with Jerwayne and had greater aspirations than telling her neighbors that they were having a yard sale 365 days a year. The problem Is that Honey has not had the heart to tell Jerwayne that she will not be returning to her old life after finding success at the Hotel Tropicana lounge in Las Vegas and that she has fallen in love with Carlos, a soldier in Iraq who won the purple heart for bravery despite his opposition to the war. Carlos sees Honey as much as possible and frequents the casinos when he is not on duty. Heartbroken Jerwayne does not want to leave Snowville until he can persuade Honey to come home with him and raise the family they planned when they worked at the drive-in, the Honk and Holler and on weekends at the Bowlarama. I am now posting the coming attractions for the new Christmas season when their mother Gertrude’s brothers, Manny and Moe, the Ghouls arrive in town to join the party. Nothing much happens at the North Pole during the off-season and Manny wants everyone to come home to prepare for Christmas. The uncles are very surprised when they learn who is the real Santa Claus. This was the cliffhanger of last season’s final episode that some may have missed. Please stay tuned to find out that whom you believed was Santa was fraud.