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26 Jan, 2008

When it released me by the power of God.... I ran to my girlfriend who was sleeping. She said what is wrong you look like you saw a ghost? I had explained to her what had just happened. That was the first time when I was sleeping that , that occured. I was on my way to treatment (inpatient). I was putting my daughter to bed and as she had fallen asleep, I could tell because her breathing had changed....I started to fall asleep. I ususally fall asleep with my hands over my chest. Suddenly it happened again. Only this time I was not only paralized but the blanket became very very tight. I was like oh no!!!!! Not again!!!!! I knew what I had to do but this time before I said it, Jesus Christ my Lord over and over. I could barely move my thumbs enough to grab hold of the covers....You see I knew I had to see what this was on the side of the bed pulling the covers so tight!!!!! I was ready... and as I said Jesus Christ my Lord...I knew I had to be ready to look and as I was released...I quickly looked down to the side of the bed and saw a skinned back going into the floor!!!!!!!!! I was terrified. I knew that it was going to take God to make my recovery work. I knew then that God was the only one that would and could ever help me to succeed in life. My sister was living in Texas and describe the same face to me. When I went to pittsburgh before my mother died....I saw him there. So if you have any doubt that the opposing side is there.... I think I have explained enough. One day before the fist incident occured...I had foolishly spent all my money and had my daughter with me at our best friends home. Her best friend and her mom. I woke up with a quarter in my pocket to use the phone and who could I trust with all the humiliation that I had for what I had done. I called one guy that my daughter went to pre-school with his daughter later becoming very good friends. He said he would come. As we waited at the 7-11. I was pacing back and forth knowing my daughter needed something to eat and drink. I didn't want to take it from the store. There was a bank in the back of this 7-11 and as I stood there watching the people using their cards in the machine and going in and out of the bank....without even knowing I was talking directly to God..... I was looking at the people and in my mind saying God can't you see me... can't you see me standing here needing money so I could get my daughter something to eat and to drink, over and over in my thoughts, shaking my head with complete discust from what I had done. Suddenly, A car pulled in by the side of the road with a women and two children strapped in the back seat. She came running over to me saying....Ma'am, Ma'am, this might sound awful strange.... but God sent me here to give you this money!!!!!!! Do you need to hear more? Well you'll have to wait for my book to come out when it is finished...."Peace Not War in the Mind of an Artist"

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24 Jan, 2008

I guess my first blog entry is more of a biography which is fine. I had 1 quarter at the Seattle Art Institute but could not continue for the fear of being downtown was not a good thing for me. I am finally being published for the childrens books that my writer and I have worked on and then I will submit my very own.The first book A Day in the Woods is a very awsome story of confrontation, compromise and agreement. A good learning tool for children. This book has been through the ringer as far as being completely ripped up, patched with tape to be re- drawn. Then another sabatoging event occured. Finally when I got it finished.... I accidentally left it in a phone both by my house. Going up to the market area several days later trying to sell some of my work. A young man said..... I found some art one day and gave it to the store....he said, they didn't want to take it but they did. When I went to see if they had it, they said they knew nothing about it. All the hours that I had into it was very painstaking to know it would never be found. I am once again reduing the pages of this book and it has been very hard for me. I have been so depressed knowing it was once done. Today I made a decision to make a few changes and that might be a little better for me to take it on once again. So far it is. I have sent for all of the copyrights. So if I just continue to go forward I will not lose my ambition to finish the rest of the books that I have ready to be colored. I don't give up....I might change direction but I will never give up. That is my only advise that I can give to you. And believe me with all of the mental disorders that I have... it would be so easy to give up. From the one quarter at the art institute I gained much... when I left they continued to call me for two very long months until I had to tell them to stop calling me, that I just cannot do it. Sure they complimented me saying I was a natural and that I didn't know what I was doing... to come and talk to them. But it was all killing me because I am a natural artist of my own mind. So I took what I could and added even more skills to that and here I am today. Mostly self taught.... it is my life and it is my heart.

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27 Dec, 2007

I was born in Pittsburgh but raised in Miami. I won my first art contest for then Donnely Advertising now Ackerly Communications. 1st Place out of 12 Dade County high schools. Then there were only three other competitions that I have ever entered receiving, Best all around and most scariest Halloween costumes, the first competition for the Prisoners of Christ Woodenville,Wa. I received nothing but the 2nd Annual I received honorable mention in the national competition. In the future I will enter more and I will keep winning. I went to Graights Great Costumes in Renton, Wa. just to see if I qualified to be a costume designer and he wanted to hire me on the spot when he saw a 62 eyed mask that I had made. I was honored and went home to continue my work. For the last 17 years fighting my mental health just to be stabilized enough to continue my work has been so hard for me. My mental state is constantly interfering with my daily living. I have many pieces that I will start soon all of which will be paintings. I have been collecting the canvas as well as the paint slowly but surely. I will complete Lady Liberty broken down under the sea this week. I hope to be able to get a photo to download so I can share it with all of you. This is the one that I will house in the National Museum for Women in D.C.

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