Rainbow Tree's Eclectic Oracle Blogging

An eclectic array of blogging. ~ Spiritual ~ Sustainable ~ Consciousness ~ From weekly Oracle LUNAR Readings & MAGICAL Attributes to Ancient Blessings & Rituals, Vibrational Raising & Conscious Thinking to Sustainable, Environmental Living and Natural Remedies!

http://rainboworacle.blogspot.com/

I will no longer be posting here on Artwanted (pictures excluded of course)

I think you'll love my New Blog. I've had it for a while and my life has 4-ever changed since I began the blog. My father passed unexpectedly, I became ordained and a spiritual healer, my husband and I are relocating and so the story goes on.

Namaste

Between all the hard, sweaty work in the large gardens, stormy weather, chipped shoulder blade, nail through my foot and myspace issues... I haven't had much time to be online.

The heirloom seeded and organically grown gardens are coming along wonderfully! Most everything is up from seed and has its blooming flowers. I have an actual total of all the plants that are up so far. Yesterday I planted some lettuce to have in the next month or two as well as zucchini and more cherry tomato plants. Here is what is up so far and the total number of plants for each item. Keep i mind each plant produces a large amount of produce!!! 18 Brandywine Tomato plants 24 Amish Paste Tomato plants 8 Rutger Tomato plants 16 Cherokee Purple Tomato plants 4 Hungarian Wax (Banana) Pepper plants 4 Jalapeño Pepper plants 8 Golden Bell Pepper plants 4 California Wonder Bell Pepper plants 30 Yellow Summer Squash plants 51 Pie & Carving Pumpkin plants 31 Moon & Stars Watermelon plants Dill, Dill & more Dill Cherries Concord Grapes Mulberries

I simply can't wait! All these plants are growing larger and larger everyday. Not one day goes by I don't touch each plant and say 'Thank you" and "I love You". I ask them to grow strong and healthy.

For those of you whom don't see the Global Warming issues with the rise in severe storms, tornadoes, flooding, etc.. then I say you are part of the unthinking majority and the source of the problem! We have had several rounds of nasty storms ourselves and we see the wrath of the rising waters, flooding rains and severe thunderstorms.

Wednesday we had our share of a couple nasty ones! Such beauty yet so violent. Around 8:30pm we caught the tail end of a storm heading North West. The pictures I took are looking west from our deck off the bedroom upstairs.

The last pic was when it was getting closer and all of a sudden there was a 20 degree temperature drop. It went from being 90 outside to 70 in less than 1 minute!

As scary as this storm was... it was beautiful! I couldn't resist snapping the camera over and over again for some amazing cloud shots. Please note that all these pictures are RAW in their original format! The following images are also available for purchase @ my Artwanted portfolio. Up to size 11x14. http://www.artwanted.com/kandice

Country Storm

Sky Dancer

Speaking Skies 1

Speaking Skies 2

Speaking Skies 3

I loved these pictures!

Later that night around 2:30 am we got hit with another round of storms. I can honestly say we really thought this was it! I have never even seen Tom as scared as he was. We awoke to 100+ mph winds, hail and the upstairs rumbling. I swore I heard a freight train.. and I very well may have. We jumped out of bed to shut all the windows as rain and hail were blowing like crazy. I rushed downstairs and the screens and windows were bowing inwards. Rain was blowing 12 foot across my kitchen hitting the stove and sounding like a hammer banging metal. As I fought with the windows to shut them I felt like I was being hit with a nail gun from the intense rain and winds. I hollered for Brenda, our live in helper and assistant. Scared her half to death! Yelled at Destiny to get up and get in the laundry room. It was here and there was no time to go outside to get in the basement. (you have to enter our basement from outside)

I stood in awe at the storm and couldn't move from the window. Scared as well and shocked thinking this was it. The sounds of Tom and Destiny snapped me out of it and I headed towards Destiny to remind her all will be fine, stay put. I battled with a couple other windows and a few screen came flying in at me. We stood in the house with our shoes on, lights in hand and waited for the storm to calm.

The next morning I awoke to one of our very old and sacred apple trees being split down the center to the core of her roots. There was no saving her. Such a friend and companion to the other two old and wise apple trees. We will be counting her rings as soon as she dries but we know for sure that she is at least 150+ years old. I cried when I saw her ripped apart, but I cried even more when all that was left after the sounds of the chainsaw was a stump and dust. She was no more. I will miss my dear Apple Tree friend as will the creatures that nested in her beautiful limbs.

The large limb managed to blow atop our Concord Grape arbor. We are still waiting to see if the baby bunches of grapes will pop back and do well.

So the next night, Thursday is clear and Brenda, Destiny & I decide to gather blankets and lay outside on the upstairs deck under the stars. It was dark out and I didn't want to turn the light on to draw the bugs close. I was leaning over the edge of the deck looking at stars and took a step back. Brenda said she never heard a voice come out like that. In a deep tone I said "what the f*** is in my foot?!?!" Scared to look, Brenda knew. Here I stepped on a piece of the deck that had blown off from the previous nights storm. There was an inch and a half of nail sticking out of the board and well... the ball of my foot hit the board all the way down. I was calm and collected. Asked Tom to get my tissue paper, Destiny to grab me the silver and oil of wild oregano. I went in sat and let the puncture bleed out as much as it could. I then ran it under cold water, cleaned it doctored it up with my natural remedies and all seemed fine. i went out watched the stars. Brenda and Destiny were freaking out more than I was. Good thing for my high pain tolerance... so I thought. The next morning I awoke at 3am wanting to scream. My foot was throbbing. I couldn't handle an ounce of weight on it. The inpact sight was a huge knot but not red or infected. However the bone above it was snapped in half and hurt like hell!!!!! No insurance and this is the foot and ankle that I have little bone mass to begin with and lots of bone morrow bleeding out. In a way I was glad it was my bum foot and ankles verses my good one!It's a week later and it still hurts like a bitch! But I can walk on it a majority of the time, just no uneven ground with the broken bone. You can tell it's broke, it's obvious... but I owe the hospital too much money from the 6 years I battled with the dis-ease of C-diff and my doc wont see me until I pay her at least half of what I owe. What a society we live in. Money, money, money!

A few months ago I bumped my shoulder on the corner of the doorway. Anyone else would of just had a bruise but I was still battling with the dis-ease of C-diff and getting no nutrition so my bones became fragile. It was confirmed under my right shoulder balde to have a chip of bone. It flares up and swells and can be down right painful at times. Not much can be done though. Again with the lack of insurance and two, my bones are to frail yet to consider any operation. Thus is why I have not had my hip replacement yet. But those who know me, know that there is NO stopping me! I will not settle or be down. I'm still out side in the gardens for a few hours a day, raking, hoeing, weeding, planting, picking, you name it. I'm still in my kitchen cooking and baking. These are my passions and with out them I would be lost.

There has been a lot more going ons in between and here and there some positive some a little negative. All and all everything is well! The house is coming along with Brenda being here to help. She is learning and evolving both mentally and spiritually everyday. It is such a beautiful thing.

As you can read, it has been busy. The garden taking up the most of the time and when picking time arrives... oh my! I can't wait to get the produce stand open again this year! Brenda has really been working hard to get the one room ready so we can expand the Giving Earth farm into a Market as well! I've been creating and updating the website http://www.GivingEarth.com Until the produce is ready, I can offer things such as Maple Trees, Cherry Trees, Flowers, Organic & Natural Body Care and tons of other cool items.

I did spend one day painting. I painted a beautiful scene of flowers, very unusual for my sort of painting style. Everyone has fallen in love with it and I've been offered by one already to purchase it from me. I have yet to get any photos taken of it, but I will make sure I do before I sell or decide to keep.

Chances are I wont make it back on here for any serious reading or posting till after the weekend. I have to get busy listing the kittens we have that need adopted. Beautiful kittens!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend my dear friends! Kandice

(add me to your myspace friends!!! www.myspace.com/givingearth )

My doctor said this is literally a case for the medical text books. Between the severity of it and the measures they are taking to rid my system of C-diff. I remained in the hospital for 3 days and I urged them on numerous occasions to let me go home. I was still under semi-medical advice to stay in the hospital longer. This was to make sure I would quit vomiting and having extreme diarrhea while the treatment took effect.

As most of you know, Tom and I dropped our insurance about 2 months ago. We were paying $600.00 per month and we were getting ready for a 22% increase in rates. OUCH! On top of that because of my chemical sensitivities, the insurance company, ANTHEM chucked everything even my gallbladder surgery off as preexisting. Tom & I were faced with thousands of dollars in medical bills on top of a monthly insurance cost. We just couldn’t afford it any longer, let alone the rats going up almost $200. Besides that, I rarely went to the doctor. About once or twice a year for a checkup to make sure I was still alive. There really isn’t anything they can do besides keep me house bound for my sensitivities anyway.

Then we find out I have C-diff only because it damn near killed me and landed me in the hospital. Though I am glad they found the C-Diff and it explains a large amount of things with my stomach and weight issues. I think it is just crazy that I have seen over 5 specialists in the past 5 years, had upper scopes, lower scopes, biopsies on my intestines, gallbladder surgery and the list goes on. Even though we were insured during those times, over 80% was denied by Anthem Blue Cross & Blue Shield. Again with the hole ’we think you had this from this so we’re not paying for it’ thing. Medical/Heath Insurance in this country really is a crock of shit!

After 3 days of hospitalization we finally discovered the C-diff and hydrated my body enough to come home under supervision and pretty much round the clock care from family members. I’ve been under so many pain meds to deal with the pain C-diff brings forth that I am having the privilege of going through withdraw from Morphine and Demerol. We found out Morphine & I don’t get along. It makes me crazy and very violent. I feel so terribly sorry for the nurses who had to deal with me till they took me off the Morphine and put me on the Demerol. Some states allow your acupuncturist to come in while you are in the hospital and do their thing. Ohio, unfortunately is NOT one of those open minded states. I would have done much better with less medication and more ancient remedies and needles. ;-)

Today is the first day that isn’t really blurry for me. I only remember bits & pieces from being in the hospital and under the influence of legal narcotics. Now I am going through the withdraw process... Yippie! Probably wouldn’t be so bad, but even though I am only 98 pounds, I have the system and tolerance of a 350 pound man. So you can imagine the amount that was used. I may have talked to you while in the hospital and if I did, I am SO SORRY. I really don’t remember any of the conversation and chances are I said some screwy things under the influence. There were times I I woke up not knowing if I was in dream state or reality. Was I hallucinating or was it real. I did a large amount of hallucinating while in the hospital. I’m pretty sure my cat that dies last year really wasn’t there as a 5 foot furry creature. So get the drift.

Tom, bless his heart had the worst birthday possible. The second day I was in the hospital was his 44th b-day. I was so out of it that remember looking at the clock about 10:30pm and he was sitting beside my bed. I looked at the board and remember reading March 19th and crying to Tom "It’s your birthday... I’m sooo sorry. This sucks". Then it was morning again and that’s all I remember. We’ve yet to do anything for his birthday between my condition and the financial situation. Tom makes good money for an Auto Body Tech. Enough that we do not qualify for any reduced or free health care. Unfortunately when you are still paying on thousands of medical bills from when you had insurance, you just can’t fathom any more expense.

The ultra strong antibiotic that I needed to be on was $250.00 for a 3 days supply. Read that again. Yup.... It did say $250.00 for a 3 day supply. Even the doctors office gasped at the outrageous price. All our credit cards had been maxed out from fixing the water situation on our home. There wasn’t a penny for the much needed prescription. We had to borrow the money to pay the pharmaceutical company so I wouldn’t die. How pathetic is this for one of the so called Richest Countries in the World. We’ll be facing between $30,000 to $100,000 in medical bills just from the 3 day hospital stay and all the testing that went along with it. Even though I am just now, today really starting to feel alert and aware from being in the hospital, I am now faced with the depression of financial issues. And every damn one of them ends up boiling down to our medical and health system in America. Had we not been paying on previous bills even with insurance, we would not have had to max out our credit cards restoring water to the house. Now we will have even more medical bills from this prolonged stay and everything that went along with it.

Several specialist never caught nor bothered to even check for C-diff. The first specialist chucked me off as anorexic with Irritable Bowl Syndrome. Mind you I went to them wanting to get my appetite back and quit vomiting all the time. It would be nice to crave food and be able to actually keep it down when I do eat eat it. He was young, stupid and egotistical. I hope some lawyer on myspace reads this and thinks I have a case. I sure as hell don’t have the money to pay a lawyer as the system has sucked us dry!

Tom is working extra hours to see if we can bring in a few extra bucks. In my opinion and his it’s the worst thing he can do right now. He works hard daily then comes home and has to deal with everything that has been going on. He has seen me reach death so many times in the past few years and remained by my side the entire time. I didn’t see Tom much in the hospital as he had no choice but to go to work. Then he had to be at home fixing the water so we had running water when I returned. He literally was working from 6am to about 11pm. The poor guy is beat and you can see it. It took a toll on my parents as well. Not just stress for their daughters life, but helping out around the house as Tom couldn’t be off work. Losing the roof over our head is really not an option for me. Even if it does have a few small leaks here and there. ;-)

Today is the first day home by myself. It’s nice & quiet but I honestly don’t know if my system was ready for it. I’m back up and walking so that’s a good sign but oh boy is my body a shaken! I still can’t stand more than 10 minutes without losing my balance. Bending over is not an option as I will just fall flat on my face. Walking more than 15 feet makes me very winded and my heart races out of my body. My mind set was doing really well and I am trying my hardest to keep it up. Knowing the occurring medical debt that is coming saddens me. Tom has already sold his ATV that I was acquired by trading my car for it and other smaller goods that could be sold easier. Though I am running out of things to sell to make ends meet. I will be freecycling my beloved Muscovy Ducks as their feed is an added expense. They are great outside companions and very friendly. I’m giving all of my female kitties a new home. Looking I should say. HINT! I haven’t the funds to have them spade so they don’t reproduce as I thought I would have. I will miss them dearly and hope I can find them as loving homes as they have here. We have two snow leopard geckos and our thought is the same. Find them a home. It really saddens my heart to abandon my animal family. I promised my self I wouldn’t cry typing this damn blog and now all I taste is salt water.

As each day goes by I keep telling myself "Tomorrow will be better". And I really hope it is! I really hated missing the Spring Equinox. I always celebrate the day with a ritual by myself. Some how I slept through or missed Easter too. In all the chaos and confusion there was no easter basket for our daughter. We all simply forgot the entire holiday. I get so aggravated sometimes and I made such a dark comment to Tom the other night. I told him it would have been cheaper to burry me a few years ago when I first got sick verses all the medical expenses we have had and will inquire with this C-diff dis-ease. It makes one feel like the largest burden to their family. Not just financially, but emotionally and physically as well.

I really have no idea what we are going to do when the medical bills start to arrive. I simply wish for the best and we’ll do/sell/try anything we can. I can’t work and my artwork and photography is all I can really offer. Sometimes it’s hard not to get discouraged and lose interest if things don’t sell in a while. It’s been a couple of months since I have sold a print, original drawing, handmade body care or other handmade goodies except to family for cost. I did this whole Spring Equinox Sale at my Etsy shop. Really dropped the prices in hopes and well... not one email, offer or sale. I’m tempted to give it all up sometimes. Computer, internet, my Etsy shop, my artwork and photography. Sometimes I feel like there is no point to it. But then again I love it. It’s for me. Just wished others loved it as much and somehow it would help out financially in our household. I think more times than not it is more of an expense than profit. I better clear myself. It is more of an expense most of the time than a profit. (Throws my hands & arms up in the air and shrugs shoulders). I don’t even have the seeds for my heirloom garden this year. It’s just down right depressing and aggravating! I hope I can get enough seedlings from my mom, but it really isn’t the same as starting your own from seed and working the ground.

I’ve ran out of things to say. So I guess it’s time to end this blog for today. Tomorrow is another day and all I can do is hope it is better than today. :-) All my love! Miss all my buddies! Kandice

This morning after I was finished picking tomatoes out of the garden, I washed them with the hose because the ground was so wet & muddy. As I was finishing up and heading in the house my attention was for some reason drawn toward the ground. As I looked before I stepped, I noticed a frog bout 2 inches in length (before his legs are stretched). I darn near fell over trying to avoid my foot coming down on top of him as I waited for him to leap out of the way. As I said "excuse me', and walked by I saw his big sad eyes look up at me. He didn't jump away, he just sat there at looked at me with bulging black & green eyes. I stopped, knelt down and out loud I asked him if he was ok.

His head came up a little more and his mouth made a vibrating but soft noise. My hands were full with a large bowl that I had recently used for the tomatoes and a cup of coffee. I went and sat them down and came back over the the frog. I bent down and touched him on the head. He was a little dry and sticky feeling to the touch. I knew he needed to get close to a source of water. I figured with all the rain last night he must have gotten lost. He grew very scared as my large, male Muscovy duck came closer to me to check out what I was doing and see if I possibly had a treat for him. I knew if I didn't move the frog he would become a tasty snack for one of my ducks. As I reached my hand toward the frog once more in a cup manner, the frog crawled into my hand with his little suction cup like feet. He knew I was going to help him so he was more than happy to climb into my hand by himself. I spoke once more and told him I would take him out to the pond. I hoped the little guy wouldn't jump out of my hands on the way there. Across the property as I neared the pond, you can hear all sorts of other frogs. This excited the little guy I was holding. He stayed 'glued' to my hand and I even walked down into the one end of the pond so I knew he would be placed in the water. He chirped at me and looked at me while I walked down the edge of the pond, being careful not to fall myself or drop the frog. We made it down the muddy side and I squatted down and placed him under a leaf of one of the water plants growing out there in shallow water. He quickly drank some water (or at least that is what it looked like) and turned around and looked at me once me. I said "I hope you get all better baby, take care of your self".

I knew the frog was much happier and now had a fighting chance of surviving in his proper elements. All it took me was a mere 5 minutes to help him out and save his life. His life that I consider as precious as any other form of life on this planet. That frog is part of the great universe and was created just as I was. He is part of my family and when ever family needs you, you should always be there.

Yes, I've been known to grab earthworms that were lost in the sun and place them under a cool shaded rock. I've hand fed a humming bird when it was ill and needed sugar water. I fixed a butterflies wing so she could fly once more. I've climbed ladders and placed baby birds back in their nest after storms. It's what you do for your fellow kind, four legged, winged ones and all. This is their home as much as it is mine.

I guess what I am saying is never once in my life as a child or an adult, have I turned my back on those in need. Not a day goes by that you can't make a difference in a life. No matter how small or insignificant you think that life may be.

Life, Love, Compassion, Generosity are sacred and we humans need to stop & reflect on that more than we do now.

Make a positive impact today with out the use of financial means. Make a difference with kindness, love and compassion.

I started the spirit series when I tragically lost my cat-child. This wonderful cat named Salem was my life after Tom & I lost our little boy when I was a little over 6 months pregnant. In a way I replaced the loss of our child with a kitten in need. I bottle fed Salem from 3 weeks of age. He became my life companion, my friend and my hope that everything would always be 'ok'. Eight years later when a tragic mishap happened with his feeding tube after he had been attacked by a dog I created the Spirit Series.

Salem was there in my heart and tears for each of these drawings. In every stroke of the pencil I felt him. I miss Salem every single day! A box of ashes and few photos are all that remains. He is still one of the most important things to ever happen in my life. I love him & miss him more than humanly possible.

I've come to realize no other animal or life could ever replace the comforts he brought me with his short time on Earth. You can never speak to many words about him. He was loved by many, considered family by all that knew him. He was and will forever remain my Cat Child. (I love you Salem!)

I have made my copies of these original drawings to hold close till I am no longer a child of this planet. For financial reasons among others as well, the time has come for me to part with the originals. The first in the series was Salem's way of saying he was where we was supposed to be. The bird was a spirit in its self that gathered awaiting spirits to take them to their new destination. Only when thinking of Salem was I able to draw. As I thought about him the images and their meanings would pop into my head. Salem hated water thus the Water Spirit is quite mischievous. Anyone who knew Salem knew when he had a bath you could actually hear in his meow the words NO! & MOM! The vet even said they were shocked when he cried for his Mom. They said it was the most unmistakable cry they had ever heard. Salem loved the sun so much. He would sneak out on occasion to simply roll in the sun rays beating down on the ground.

He gave me these images to share. They helped me deal with his death. Each drawing had so many meanings and not just to me and Salem but they seemed to speak to many others as well. They represented something in all of us. I have not met a person yet who could not be matched or needed one of the meanings in the collection. Truly spiritual on so many different levels. Please, if nothing else look at these drawings, truly look at them deeper than you can imagine. Read the message and meaning that each one offers and know these wonderful spirits are here.

My Original & Signed artwork from the Spirit Works Series is currently listed on Ebay. I urge you to view & read about each one. There are 7 drawings in the series. Each drawing represents a personality or ability from that creature/being/object. For example: The Serpent Spirit has the ability to make life altering decisions and changes at any time. The Butterfly Spirit represents the metamorphism of life, death and re-birth. The Sun Spirit offers healing rays of love to those in need. It also gives life to all living things and offers great comfort. So maybe now, you get the understanding of how the Spirit Series works.

Each print is on 9x12" acid free heavy weight artists paper, ready to be framed! Click the Ebay button ~

I wanted to say hello to everyone and let them know I haven't fully fallen off the face of the earth. Just extremely busy 99% of the time. Feels like I am working 3 jobs not to mention the domestic goddess thing.

I wanted to let everyone know I am still working on the hand made thank you cards for all the people who were so generous. When summer comes around with the Organic gardening, produce stand, photography (i haven't had time for many new pics) running my website and now Tom has started his own business since things were slow at work. So I am running his site as well as being his personal secretary and vehicle estimator. I could think of better things to do with my time (giggles).

I miss everyone and the general discussion on AW. Though I'm not sure if I would really have the time to stay up to date as I would like to anyway. It's this way every summer but more so this year. Last year we only had a small garden this year I have over 30 tomato plants, 20 squash, green beans, herbs, corn and on and on. Physically I am doing so much better! They finally got the bone marrow to quit bleeding in my upper leg and knee. Now just my ankle and foot. I can move much better and it has enabled me to take on more tasks. Like cooking from scratch everyday, working in the garden, running the produce stand and so forth.

I still miss my cat-child. I'm sure I always will. I'm at a point where I can finally say the name Salem without balling every single time. I've accepted it more and keeping busy really helps. Two days ago was the first time since we put Zues down that I cried over him. I had so much anger towards him for hurting Salem and blamed him for so much. I assume I must have let go of the anger because the hurt and missing him set in. I know it's ok.. but not a day still goes by I don't rub the box Salem's ashes lay in. I bought a necklace that someone made at a village store. Treated myself for Mothers Day. It has two black cats almost identical with inlayed abalone shell. Reminds me of Salem in his life and afterlife. Makes me feel like he is with me when I wear it.

Our Muscovy ducks had 6 babies and I've been taking care of them as well. 1 of them has bowed legs and can't walk well so I hand feed him everyday. I hope his legs get stronger or at least after his wings develop he will be able to get around better without my help. I'm getting all the ducks ready to adopt to new homes. My intent was to raise them for food... yeah right! I can't eat the little fuzz balls. They are too cute and sweet!

I've been posting on my myspace blog here and there. Trying to keep some updated with current events and so on. I miss hearing how everyone is doing! I've been working on a new series of photographs. An erotic, nude series. I just read where AW added a private place where we can post them and give out a pass word. May have to do that. Right now I am working on the Colored Woman Series. So far there are 3 images in the series. Kinda cool looking, very different style of photography with a little digital enhancement. I like them though. :-) If you want to see them the PASSWORD is SEXY for my Private photographs. Enjoy

It's been a while since I've been on line on any art sites. It seems with Salem's tragic passing among other negative events I lost control of myself. Disappointed in my self to the max. I suffered a busted and finally after nearly 8 weeks it is off and my hand is free once more. Some physical therapy is in store but all in all it's getting better. My feeling was it was the Universes way of saying "WTF did you do that for?".."That'll teach you!" And I can honestly say letting your emotional anger get the best of you, no matter how bad the situation seems is NOT worth it! Gives me new light on issues and of course taught me a new lesson.

Once my hand and wrist are completely healed I look forward to writing personal Thank you letters to all of the kind and wonderful people who helped when I found myself in such darkness. I also look forward to picking up the paper and colored pencils and well as my camera with a steadier hand. ;-)

For those of you whom have left me messages and feedback, please excuse my delayed responses. I will be trying my hardest here in the next couple of weeks to get back on track. Life seems so very busy! Especially with trying to get the house ready to sell, doing our organic gardening and produce stand and on and on and on.....I'm tired already.

Much love and hope you all had a wonderful Summer Solstice. :-)

Namaste, Kandice

Click here to read the entire story and see how you can help save this precious life.

or copy & paste: www.givingearth.com/salem.html

Efforts by friends & myself to save Salem:

***** If you would like to help Salem, just send some love! If monetary giving is your thing then I would be eternally grateful and indebted to you. Any thing helps! I will be selling all my Original drawings for hundreds off. Please visit my photography portfolio to view those images.

If you would like to make a donation for Salem so he may have the chance at a healthy and happy life once more please click below. Many thanks!

Any amount helps towards these vet bills and the bills that have yet to come for his jaw surgery. Even $5 or $10 would help!

For a $20.00 or more donation I will send you a 5x7 signed copy of your choice of any drawing or photograph.

For a $50.00 or more donation I will send you a signed & framed print of your choice.

For $100.00 or more donation you will be entitled to your choice of ORIGINAL and signed drawing or Original Jpeg file and all rights to your choice of my photography.

April 9th 2006:

It was so very hard to put Zues down but yet days later I find myself knowing it was the right thing to do and I'm starting to feel less guilty. I know it had to be done for the safety of our family. Salem now panics when he hears what he thinks is the dog. It's so sad to see him react that way. He has been around dogs his entire life and always played with them as if they were just a giant cat.

Salem has been doing better today. He has accepted his feeding tube. He knows I'm always sending him love and I keep telling him how all these wonderful are sending love & light his way as well. I promised him we would be able to have his jaw surgery so he didn't have to leave this world just yet. I am so thankful there are people like you who understand how important our beloved animal children are to us. It seems so weird though. Salem has always been the cat that clings to me when I am feeling down. He senses when I am in need and he is always there on my lap or in my face to let me know it will all be ok. Now I am doing it for him. He climbs on my lap to sleep 90% of the time right now. He is being demanding and I am babying him. Don't think I would have it any other way right now. I'm just so thankful he is able to eat with the feeding tube in his side. His poor little mouth is taped shut and his jaw has yet to close all the way. :-( The surgery keeps looking like the only option he is going to have. With out the donation from you and this auction the AW group is putting together my husband and I would never been able to even consider the surgery. Lucky for Salem the success rate is 100% and he'll have a fully function life again. We maxed out our last credit card on the last visit to the vet when his tube was placed. There is nothing more there financially for us. It is the help from all of you that gives me the greatest hope!

He is laying on my lap sucking up some petting while I sit at the computer. He finally decided he wanted to move from his one chair over to my lap. I am concerned he hasn't made a bowel movement yet, but the vet said since he went almost 3 days with out food & water that he should be fine. His body is just trying to absorb all it can. He is purring more today. That is a good thing to see & hear. It's cute now when he eats. I know when he is hungry pretty much by the schedule I have him on. I fill syringes with his food and then allow him to smell them. After he smells them, he now lays down on his side and starts purring. He knows his tummy will feel full and he'll be happier. So he just lays there so perfectly the entire time I am feeding his tube in the side of his stomach. I tell him it's ok when he gets annoyed with the giant collar. He calms down as soon as I start rubbing the top of his head. He hates his mouth being taped shut but deals with it. I honestly believe since he wasn't around other cats from 2 weeks of age till he was older, that he understands me talking to him. He never heard kitty talk as a kitten or until he was about 3 or 4 years old. It was just people and me talking. He still doesn't know he is a cat and he wouldn't believe you if you tried to tell him.(chuckles)

I tell Salem everyone's name who is sending him such wonderful & positive thoughts and healing gestures. When I start telling him about all the love he purrs and stretches. I know he knows and feels it. I don't think he would be doing as well as he is if it wasn't for all the thoughts of love & well being. I've found my self crying more today over the loss of Zues that past several days. I know it is coming to a close and I have to move on. Thomas (my hubby) said he regrets not bringing Zues home to place him in the familiar earth he once walked on. My mom suggested today that we gather all his toys up and certain things that were only his and place them to rest outside. I think this might give Tom & I the closure we need. I still haven't picked his toys up. I managed Saturday to put his food & water dish away. I didn't know what to do with his toys. I couldn't throw them away and I had thought about placing them in a box and sicking in the attic but that still didn't seem right. I think digging a whole and having a memorial for him with those there would be good for us.

An update:

I'm not sure where to even start this letter. I thought about individual emails but honestly I don't think my brain will function well enough for that type of focusing abilities right at the present time.

I want to start off by thanking each and every single one of you for your positive thoughts & prayers! Your kindness can be felt in our hearts. At first I was shocked about setting up some type of donation. I've always been able to be the one that gives instead of receives until the past couple years. Words simply can not say how gracious all of you are. After the news I heard today, I have no choice but to accept your offer for help. We are now maxed out on credit cards from my previous and current medical bills and now the Vet bills.

Salem went back to the Vet today. They are keeping him till Monday. He had lost over a pound in 2 days and chocked every time he tried to lap up water. So he hasn't been able to eat or drink in almost 48 hours and had lost a large amount of blood when the accident occurred. They gave me 3 options witch I called Thomas and told him. The first option was to place a feeding tube in Salem for 10 days while he has a mussel on his mouth. This will allow him to still get all the essential nutrients he still needs. The only down fall is we wont know till after the 10 days if he will still need to have surgery on his jaw. The second option was to just go for the orthodontic surgery but starting price was over $1K and the vet said he was to weak to make it through. We'd still have to start with the feeding tube. The third option was to say good bye and after the recent events I honestly don't think I or my daughter could handle this.

I called Thomas (my hubby) who loves Salem as much as we do but knows the reality of our financial situation. This vet bill for his feeding tube will totally max out our last credit card. So the surgery is not an option for us financially. This is the last thing we can do for him because of monetary cost. I don't want to place a value of money over something that we feel is our child. We have had Salem since our first week together as a couple. Seven years of marriage later and Salem is still with us. I've never seen Thomas break down and cry like he did as Zues went down on the vets table. I've never felt such sorrow for him. Now he is trying to put on a hard cover because he knows there is nothing he can do financially to save Salem and it tears him up inside.

I just don't think our hearts can take one more loss so soon. Maybe I am being selfish, but I just don't think we could handle it. But then again I have no way of knowing if this feeding tube will allow him not to have the jaw surgery. The vet said besides his Jaw, everything else is fine. She said his value of life would be normal with the surgery. So knowing that I might have to lay him down for an eternal sleep only because of financial means has put a huge stressful strain on all of us here. I felt guilty enough and still feel awful because Zues had to go. I honestly can't even fathom this thought of my big man cat never coming home. He is the one who lays on my lap when one of my ailments prohibits me functioning. He is the kitty who gets in my face when I am crying to let me know tomorrow I might feel better.

I was offered a phone call from a wonderful friend on here. I told her I'm not much of a phone person. Though today someone else to say it was all going to be ok might help. But as I told her, tears can not be seen or heard in keys on the keyboard (nor blowing of the nose), and a quivery voice that shakes & crackles in hard to understand. 3 boxes of tissues later.... and the emotions still feel as raw as the did the day it happened. But now my focus and worries lay with Salem and his well being.

Again I want to thank all of you for such wonderful comments. I know some of you have been through just as hard of situations. Thank you for your sympathy, compassion and caring. My heart is with you all as well. This journey in this life can be tough and I feel our pets really help us live as we do them.

I'll be responding to a couple of the posts on here today with anything I can think of to help as well. If I have to sell every single original drawing for pennies then so be it. They are not important to me as Salem's precious life. He can not be replaced nor can the special spot be filled in my heart where he stays.

Much love to ALL of you!!!! With out your emotional support I honestly don't know if I would be out of bed and functioning. If I ever wit the lottery, you will all be the first to receive such abundance. Until then I will do what ever I can to show you my thanks and gratitude. I also have several photographs framed on my website that if anyone would be interested in having as a thank you gift, just say the word and it's on the way!!! I just don't know what else to say or do to show how much you all have made me feel by your thoughts and gestures.

This isn't the best picture... but several months ago Salem climbed in a box (he loves boxes and if there is one out you can always find him in it)and it happened to say "Fine Feline" on the box. To bad it came out blurry. I realized this and the Jungle Kitties pic are the only two I have of Salem. I'm crossing my fingers that with your help and mine he will be back to his normal self and I will have a second chance of capturing photographs of him to share with everyone.

Please keep Salem in your prayers as he has a long way to go yet. You will all be in my prayers & thoughts as well. Keep sending love please. If nothing else it may be the only thing that gets him and us through this.

All my love to all of you. You have given me new hope that humanity has not all been lost to greed with your gestures. I'm blown away at what you all are talking about putting together and doing. I don't honestly think I have ever felt so touched in my entire life! I not only have tears of sorrow and hurt but now tears of hope to go along. As I always say in my daily thoughts.... What ever you do, do it with love! I love and thank you all!

Kandice

Yesterday morning our large, 95 pound dog Zues was in the house playing. He is 5 years old. Salem, whom I call my big man cat is 7 years old. Zues and Salem have played together for the past 5 years with no harm. Yesterday morning while in the kitchen and for no apparent reason Zues grabbed Salem by his head and shook him. As I saw my beautiful baby go flying threw the air I freaked and went running after him. Salem was bleeding heavily from his eyes, nose & mouth. His right eye was almost out of his skull and he was foaming out the mouth and couldnt breath. Zues for some reason out of the blue decided Salem was a toy. As I tried to get Zues out of the way so I could tend to my bleeding cat, Zues decided to growl at me and push his limits. He has done this before as far as the growling goes with me. However he has never attacked or hurt the other animals.

I rushed Salem into the animal hospital. It was the longest drive Ive ever made. He was barely breathing, coughing up blood all over the car walls and seat. I kept screaming at him telling him I loved him and he couldnt die on me yet. For those of you who dont know Salem was rescued as a 5-6 week old kitten who was told he was to week and small to make it. A year of nurturing and love and he was my big healthy man cat. Now 7 years later we wait to know how he will be.

After the x-rays came back we found Salems jaw to be fractured in multiple places and out of place. He is on a high dose of pain meds and steroids to reduce the inflammation. He can not eat properly because his mouth will not fully shut and his teeth wont line up. We wont know till Friday if he has brain damage or not , or if his jaw will require surgery. He is quite miserable and only wanting Mommy (thats me) to hold him and love on him.

Zues our beloved family dog had to be put down yesterday as Salem was coming home. It was the hardest thing to not only see my cat in such pain and misery but to know my dog is the responsible one, hurt my husband and I so very much. We came home last night with Salem in a blanket hoping for the best. Yet an empty color and leash sit on the table from Zues. Our hearts left broken and shattered. I stayed with Zues while he went into his deep sleep. I cried and held him after words, telling him how sorry I was for what we had to do. I know with time these wounds will heal but for now I need to grieve for Zues and be with Salem.

I dont know how on earth we will afford all of this. Between my medical bills and now this I feel like Im breaking down! Trying my hardest not to think about it! I just wanted to ask you all for your prayers and positive thoughts & energy for Salems well being and my families emotional healing. Im not sure when I will be back online as I am going to post this in my myspace blog and then spend time off line trying my hardest to help Salem deal with his pain & mouth and we can heal out hearts here at home.

Much love to all of you!

Kandice

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